Friday, December 31, 2010

Best New Years Cartoons 2010

Check out the best New Years cartoons from a great selection of cartoonists.



From Denny: Before you go out to celebrate the New Year with all that dancing and champagne sipping, linger here long enough to get a good laugh! Think of all the funny things you will have to talk about with your friends and family tonight. :) Check out some of the links at the bottom of the post too as I've put together some entertaining goodies.

Apologies to those of you who came looking for last year's New Year's cartoons. I'm just now discovering along with you that many of the cartoonists do not continue to support their cartoon embed codes after a year. Bummer. So I went looking, OK, scouring the web, to find the latest cartoon goodies for you to enjoy.

This is my second year of blogging and I want to take the time to thank all of you for your incredible support and deluge of response on all my blogs! What a pleasure it has been to explore the world, the web and write for you.


Happy New Year and may you be happy, healthy and prosperous!


Chip Bok


Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Years: Funny Quotes, Resolutions Tips, Poems

Start your New Year off right with lots of laughter and some smart advice on meeting those New Year resolutions.



From Denny: Before you stay up all night to ring in the New Year, swill some good champagne and watch the fireworks on TV, catch a laugh here. I rounded up the best and funniest quotes about the New Year. Enjoy some New Year's poems too.






New Years Quotes

* New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain

* Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

* New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. - Mark Twain

* The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P. J. O'Rourke

* Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average... which means, you have met your New Year's resolution. - Jay Leno

* Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson




* New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

* An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

* Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. - Anonymous

* May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams


Saturday, December 25, 2010

Funny Life and Christmas Cartoons - 25 Dec 2010

Check out the most recent funny Santa cartoons along with some cracked cartooning minds.





From Denny: This year the cartoonists outdid themselves when it came to Santa interpretations. Is there anything, anyone or any situation they did not consider? These guys have some of the funniest perspectives on how we live from moment to moment. It's like we are all in a glass cage and they are on the other side observing, laughing and doodling to their heart's content. :)


The Santa Legend lives!


Nick Anderson




Moderately Confused


Monday, December 20, 2010

72 Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 20 Dec 2010

Check out news analysis, political humor, funny quotes, funny videos, cartoons, recipes, science news, music and poetry.




From Denny: This is about three week's worth of posts. Be sure to check out this post over at the science blog, The Soul Calendar, for the rare 500 year total lunar eclipse coinciding with the Winter Solstice tonight.  I like to write my science with a bit of wit.  It's so much easier to absorb facts when the writing is funny.

Also, lots of funny videos, comedy, jokes from the late night comedians lampooning the news and our crazy Congress. Their idea of "logic" is questionable sometimes. :)

For the Christmas and holiday season there are plenty of music videos to soothe the stress after rushing around shopping and visiting.

I've also started developing the arts blog, Dennys Art Sanctuary. It has been languishing far too long. The plan is to feature various artists along with the arts news.

What's also new is that I've started gathering all my poetry onto one blog, Poems From A Spiritual Heart. There are even poems there that have not posted on The Social Poets first.

So, take a look around, decompress, and enjoy yourself! Thank You for all your support this year. It's been a delight to write for you! What a wild ride! :)




The Social Poets: news and political humor

Crazy Week of American Politics Cartoons - 18 Dec 2010 - What a political week. Now check out how the cartoonists lampooned it all.

What Is The Truth About Unemployment In America? - Check out the status of unemployment across America and how high the figure is for the long term unemployed.

17 Christmas Music and Fun Videos - Enjoy some popular and traditional sacred music for the Christmas season, along with some funny holiday flash mob videos.

Gordon Brown Book: 9 Big Banks Manipulating World Economy - Check out the crooked world of global banking.

The International Spy poem - Libations Monday 13 Dec 2010 - Step into the world of the spy and witness the effect they have upon the people they meet - until one day they meet someone who poignantly affects them. A true story from my travels - and childhood.

WikiLeaks, Obama Tax Cuts, Political Humor - 11 Dec 2010 - More Santa and WikiLeaks cartoons for fun.

Sellout Obama and Bush Tax Cuts Firestorm Angers America - Obama continues to bully a bad tax plan down the throats of America.

Funny Lite: Roundup of Late Night Jokes and Videos - 8 Dec 2010 - Check out how the comedians view WikiLeaks and Santa.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Funny WikiLeaks Cartoons - WikiLeaks never fails to entertain and outrage the world. Check out the cartoonists lampooning with glee.

American and World Politics Cartoons This Week 4 Dec 2010 - Lots of tax cuts cartoons to make you laugh - or cry.

A Thought poem - Libations Friday 3 Dec 2010 - Have you ever thought about the hidden words behind the words spoken out loud?

Obama Presidency: Dead On Arrival in 2012? - Obama faces a hostile Democratic Party for 2012 reelection.

Funny Situational Hunh?! Cartoons - 29 Nov 2010 - Enjoy some simple humor courtesy of our national cartoonists owning some seriously cracked minds.

North Korea Throws Dangerous Temper Tantrum: Why? - North Korea bombs its neighbor to get the attention of a weary, and increasingly indifferent, world.

American and World Politics Cartoons - 27 Nov 2010 - Lots to lampoon this week for cartoonists as they poke fun at crazy North Korea, the buffoon of the world.

Friday Lite: Best Of Funny TSA Cartoons - 26 Nov 2010 - Check out what America is thinking about those TSA Pat Downs supposedly guarding us against terrorism.

Funny Thanksgiving Presidential Pardon 4 Turkeys Apple and Cider - Check out some funny trivia about presidential turkey pardons.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Video, Cartoons and Food Posts - Enjoy some Thanksgiving humor along with more delectable recipes to make your mouth water waiting for the next holiday.

Monday Lite: Late Night Jokes, Thanksgiving and TSA Cartoons - 22 Nov 2010 - Check out the late night sarcasm about the TSA Pat Downs, Thanksgiving turkeys of the political kind like the Palin pride and Bush Who?

American and World Politics Humor - 20 Nov 2010 - Check out the national mind and the national conversation about politics and American culture this week from our favorite cartoonists.

TSA Pat Downs: PC Sexual Assault? - Furor over invasive sexual airport security measures has thousands across the country furious at the groping.

Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 17 Nov 2010 - Check out news, opinion, silly political humor and funny cartoons, jokes, recipes, poetry, photography, science, spiritual thoughts and great quotes.

American and World Politics Humor - 20 Nov 2010 - Check out the national mind and the national conversation about politics and American culture this week from our favorite cartoonists.





Signe Wilkinson






Dennys Funny Quotes: funny videos, jokes, all silly


Funny Video: WikiLeaks Reveals Santa Naughty List - View a cute problem-solving session on the school playground.

Funny Video: Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun At WikiLeaks Assange - Comedians rip silly WikiLeaks founder Assange.

Music Video: Christmas Carol Flash Mob Sarcastic British Style - Hear The 12 Days of Christmas like you never heard it before.

Funny Video: NYC Folate Carolers Flash Mob Sings Christmas - Funny and clever singing and dancing takes New Yorkers by happy surprise during Christmas season.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks FOX on War on Christmas - Check out glib Stewart as he blasts crazy Fox News for the imaginary War on Christmas brigade marching into their studio.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart On Prez National Displeasure - Stewart pokes fun at the wrong Obama attitude toward Democrats by mocking him.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks Confederate Commemoration - Enjoy a little North-South humor from Jon Stewart lampooning the Confederate reenacting

Funny Christmas Cartoons - Check out the irreverent cartoonist offerings for the holiday season.

Funny Life Cartoons - 30 Nov 2010 - Enjoy some funny observations about our lives from cartoonists. The names have been changed to protect those who think themselves to be innocent.

Lampooning Crazy North Korea - See what fun cartoonists have had with world politics and that crazy uncle running North Korea.

Funny Life and Pet Cartoons - 27 Nov 2010 - Do you know what your dog is really thinking about you? The cartoonists know. Read on.

Funny Thanksgiving Cartoons - Get a grin at the best turkey cartoons sure to make you laugh.

Funny Holiday Fashion: Gluttony Pants - Get the latest holiday clothing to ensure comfortable holiday feasting.

Funny Life Cartoons - 19 Nov 2010 - Enjoy a grin from the cracked minds of some of our favorite cartoonists.







Beautiful Illustrated Quotations:  soothing music, inspirational thoughts, spiritual

Soothing Piano Music: First Love by Utada Hikaru - A great way to wind down after a busy day, listening to this selection.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Music Video: Wheres The Line To See Jesus? by Becky Kelley - Check out the newest addition to Christmas music this season born out of a true story - and a YouTube viral hit.

Music Video: Mary, Did You Know? By Clay Aiken - When you need some inspiration to lift your spirits or soothe your nerves during the holiday rush.

Music Video: Pie Jesu by Celtic Woman - Learn the meaning and history of this traditional song, Pie Jesu, which hails from ancient Christianity, rearranged by composers throughout the centuries.

Music Video: You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

Music Video: The Prayer by Josh Groban, Celine Dion, Charlotte Church

Music Video: In The Arms Of The Angel by Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban

Music Video: O Holy Night by Celine Dion

Music Video: Note to God by David Foster and Charice

Music Video: The Christmas Shoes

Music Video: Where Are You Christmas? by Faith Hill







Visual Insights:  music, arts, photography, humor

Funny Flash Mob Video: Dancing Elf Horde Invades New York City - Get into the holiday spirit with a dance flash mob horde of Santa Christmas elves making mischief in NYC.

Music Video: Christmas Tree by Lady Gaga

Music Video: The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole

Music Video: Michael Buble, Jennifer Hudson Christmas Duet - Christmas music for everyone to enjoy.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes

Fun Break Dance Battle Video: Milky vs. Lil Demon - Check out this fun competition between a little kid and an adult who can barely keep up.





The Soul Calendar:  science news and tech humor

Rare 500 Year Lunar Eclipse Gets Viewed By 1.5 Billion - Check out this incredible and rare cosmic show.

Funny Christmas Tech Cartoons - 18 Dec 2010 - Cartoonists have fun with how our social lives are so intertwined with technology.

Big Show Geminid Meteor Shower In Winter Sky Tonite and Tomorrow - Check out the spectacular show of Geminid meteor showers this week.






Dennys Art Sanctuary:  arts news (finally developing this blog and plan to feature various artists)

Antiwar Street Artist Censored By LA Musuem - Is it censorship of artists or was the director correct?

17 Christmas Music and Fun Videos - Enjoy some popular and traditional sacred music for the Christmas season, along with some funny holiday flash mob videos.

5 Jerkin Dance Tutorial Videos - Learn the how to of the latest dance trend around the world: Jerkin'





Poems From A Spiritual Heart:  all my "little word gifts" in one easy place to view :)

Louisiana Summer Sigh

Eyeing Think Time

Life Of Words

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Conversations - How much it is to watch people in the act of talking.

People Words - Ever thought about how the air feels when we talk?

Gifts From The Heart, A Christmas Poem - Waging war in our society: the warm simplicity of gifts from the heart vs. the insecurity of goliath consumerism.

Rock, My Children - A poem written during the 911 anniversary that talks about dealing with profound loss, the death of a child.

Rain Blessings - Native Americans divide rain into the two categories of nurturing Mother Rain and destructive Father Rain.

Walk The World - A poem story about sharing our life with others - when we are both in need - to receive the greatest gift.  Though it was written in the summer this is really a timeless story and especially poignant during the holiday season.



*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts - my own best as well as links to other spiritual posts from all viewpoints
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Funny Video: WikiLeaks Reveals Santa Naughty List

View a cute problem-solving session on the school playground.



From Denny:  Turns out WikiLeaks likes to snitch on everyone - even little kids. This cute little farce lampoons just how far WikiLeaks will go to leak information. In this little ditty the kids are calling "a staff meeting" on the playground to figure out how to do "damage control." It turns out WikiLeaks leaked Santa's Naughty List. These kids are worried about how to deal with the repercussions of all their antics becoming public knowledge. One even calls his lawyer while others decide to run for the hills. Kind of reminds you of politicians when they can't handle the heat when yellow journalists snitch on them. The real question is "So, who rats out the yellow journalists like the National Inquirer and the WikiLeakers?"







*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Friday, December 17, 2010

Funny Video: Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun At WikiLeaks Assange

Comedians rip silly WikiLeaks founder Assange. WikiLeaks Founder Julian Assange Gets a New Prison Nickname



From Denny: Comedian Jimmy Kimmel lampoons WikiLeaks founder Assange for "changing his name." This clip aired before Assange was finally granted bail while awaiting extradition to Sweden on both rape and molestation charges. Some of his past employees would like to charge him with "arrogant King attitude" and "general putz behavior" but hey, apparently that it's yet illegal - just "bad form." Hmmm... Assange does bear a distinct resemblance to a "rat terrier." Kimmel refers to him as a prison snitch.


WikiLeaks Founder Julian Assange Gets a New Prison Nickname





*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Thursday, December 16, 2010

17 Christmas Music and Fun Videos

Enjoy some popular and traditional sacred music for the Christmas season, along with some funny holiday flash mob videos.




From Denny: A person could spend a lifetime sifting through all the offerings over at YouTube and be happy. What fun to explore, looking for interesting Christmas music to fit a wide variety of reader interests.

Here are the offerings I've gleaned for this year. The first song, YouTube sudden viral hit, is from a newcomer, Becky Kelley, whose father wrote the song after Becky related a conversation from her nephew while they were standing in line to see Santa at the mall.  It's their first published song, a real shock to the music industry who came asking for more of their work.  I guess they had better get busy. :)

And now you have plenty here to help you stress down from  the holiday rush, make you laugh, and even get you pumped back up feeling inspired.


Music Video: Wheres The Line To See Jesus? by Becky Kelley - Check out the newest addition to Christmas music this season born out of a true story - and a YouTube viral hit.

Music Video: Mary, Did You Know? By Clay Aiken - When you need some inspiration to lift your spirits or soothe your nerves during the holiday rush.

Music Video: Pie Jesu by Celtic Woman - Learn the meaning and history of this traditional song, Pie Jesu, which hails from ancient Christianity, rearranged by composers throughout the centuries.

Music Video: You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

Music Video: The Prayer by Josh Groban, Celine Dion, Charlotte Church

Music Video: In The Arms Of The Angel by Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban






Music Video: O Holy Night by Celine Dion

Music Video: Note to God by David Foster and Charice

Music Video: The Christmas Shoes

Music Video: Where Are You Christmas? by Faith Hill

Music Video: Christmas Tree by Lady Gaga

Music Video: The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole

Music Video: Michael Buble, Jennifer Hudson Christmas Duet - Christmas music for everyone to enjoy.

Funny Flash Mob Video: Dancing Elf Horde Invades New York City - Get into the holiday spirit with a dance flash mob horde of Santa Christmas elves making mischief in NYC.

Music Video: Christmas Carol Flash Mob Sarcastic British Style - Hear The 12 Days of Christmas like you never heard it before.

Funny Video: NYC Folate Carolers Flash Mob Sings Christmas - Funny and clever singing and dancing takes New Yorkers by happy surprise during Christmas season.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.



*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts - my own best as well as links to other spiritual posts from all viewpoints
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Music Video: Christmas Carol Flash Mob Sarcastic British Style

Hear The 12 Days of Christmas like you never heard it before.

Christmas Carolers


From Denny: Singing "The 12 Days of Christmas" with new sarcastic lyrics only the British could have penned. It certainly describes the mood of the country here in America. Looks like there is a worldwide dissatisfaction with political leaders. Very clever, well done filming.

This subversive Flash Mob hail from Nottingham, England, United Kingdom. This mob performed at Nottingham City Center on 19 December 2010.

The lead choir of local vocals:
Sophie Johnson-Hill
Nina Smith
Meritia Robinson
Captain Dangerous
Jay Thomas
Aurelie of Cecil Grey

Organized by the Dealmaker and Glass Ceiling Productions, filmed and edited by Fourmost Films that took a marathan 12 hours.






*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Funny Video: NYC Folate Carolers Flash Mob Sings Christmas

Funny and clever singing and dancing takes New Yorkers by happy surprise during Christmas season.


Christmas Carolers


From Denny: This is too funny. These "Folate Carolers" showed up as a flash mob experience for happy New Yorkers, busy snapping away camera phone photos to prove they were there. Turns out it's a promotion for women to remember to get enough Vitamin B12 "folate" in their diets. Apparently, 2 out of 3 women do not take in enough of the vitamin. Now this is what you call a very clever Public Service Announcement well done! :) What a great way to bring a smile to your day.




Vitamin B12 Gummies.


*** Christmas carolers photo from Edward Scissorhands tour @ flickr


*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Friday, December 10, 2010

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks FOX on War on Christmas

Check out glib Stewart as he blasts crazy Fox News for the imaginary War on Christmas brigade marching into their studio.




From Denny: Check out the fun Stewart has poking fun at the righteous indignation of people FOX believes to be creating a War on Christmas. Geesh! It's like all the nut jobs have come out of the closet and are thronging in the streets like it's some kind of weird revolution.

The whole point of Christmas is the core teaching of goodwill toward others. How is that a war? And why would anyone go to war deciding others were going to war on Christmas? It's bizarre to say the least. Gee, "Do ya think?" it really might have something to do with the fact that Rupert Murdock's Sleaze National Inquirer is up for bankruptcy reorganization? Guess he's trying to build a new audience over at FOX Imitation News.


Daily Show: Recap - Week of 12/06/10
Jon watches as Fox News dusts off the War on Christmas, and Larry Wilmore invites the South to re-secede.



The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Recap - Week of 12/06/10
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog</a>The Daily Show on Facebook



*** Enjoy some more laughs:

Funny Lite: Roundup of Late Night Jokes and Videos - 8 Dec 2010 - Check out how the comedians view WikiLeaks and Santa.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart On Prez National Displeasure - Stewart pokes fun at the wrong Obama attitude toward Democrats by mocking him.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks Confederate Commemoration - Enjoy a little North-South humor from Jon Stewart lampooning the Confederate reenacting.



*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Funny Video: Jon Stewart On Prez National Displeasure

Stewart pokes fun at the wrong Obama attitude toward Democrats by mocking him.




From Denny: Stewart has some fun with how President Obama has been yelling at his own Democratic Party lately - and calling them names. Obama accused one of his best Black Caucus supporters of "being sanctimonious." That was Rep. Clyburn, one of the most decent guys you will ever meet and also someone who is completely in tune with the American people - unlike Obama who just won't listen to anyone. Obama has demonstrated himself to be the typical "unteachable teacher" - a Know It All. Watch Stewart rip into Obama's attitude.


Daily Show: Cenac - National Displeasure
Barack Obama used to find the American people's inconsistent irrationality charming, but he's losing his patience.


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
National Displeasure
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog&lt;/a>The Daily Show on Facebook



*** Enjoy more laughs:

Funny Lite: Roundup of Late Night Jokes and Videos - 8 Dec 2010 - Check out how the comedians view WikiLeaks and Santa.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks FOX on War on Christmas - Check out glib Stewart as he blasts crazy Fox News for the imaginary War on Christmas brigade marching into their studio.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks Confederate Commemoration - Enjoy a little North-South humor from Jon Stewart lampooning the Confederate reenacting.



*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks Confederate Commemoration

Enjoy a little North-South humor from Jon Stewart lampooning the Confederate reenacting




From Denny: America has moved along since the days of the Civil War - or some of us have at least. There are those still stuck in the mindset of re-writing the truth about history. What is amusing in relation to this slavery history of an America I never lived (Oh, Thank you, God) is that today an African-American can be a comedian and poke fun at it all. Some things do improve with Time. This is a very clever lampooning so rich in righteous sarcasm and just plain common sense sure to make you laugh. It is odd how the concept of what is or isn't politically correct can change over Time...


Daily Show: Wilmore - The South's Secession Commemoration
Saying slavery was the cause of the South's secession during the Civil War isn't politically correct - it's correct correct.


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The South's Secession Commemoration
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog&lt;/a>The Daily Show on Facebook



*** Enjoy some more laughs:

Funny Lite: Roundup of Late Night Jokes and Videos - 8 Dec 2010 - Check out how the comedians view WikiLeaks and Santa.

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes - Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Mocks FOX on War on Christmas - Check out glib Stewart as he blasts crazy Fox News for the imaginary War on Christmas brigade marching into their studio.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart On Prez National Displeasure - Stewart pokes fun at the wrong Obama attitude toward Democrats by mocking him.




*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

36 Christmas Posts: Music, Humor, Poems, Stories, Quotes

Explore a bonanza of Christmas offerings from music to humor to quotes to food and lots of good stories - and poems, both original and traditions from the past.




From Denny:  The adventure of blogging began two years ago and I've never looked back. Talk about fun! Christmas will always remain my favorite time of the year. Yes, I'm one of those people who holds in their heart the mantra of "I Believe!" Santa represents the goodwill spirit that humanity needs to cultivate and spread in abundance from generation to generation.  Goodwill is the fuel we all need on the Path of Hope as each generation struggles to learn and grow.

These posts represent two year's worth of posts. If I keep at it, just think, in a couple of more years I might make it to 100 Christmas posts! :) Take a look and take your pick to nourish your Christmas Spirit and help soothe your stress that always seems to visit during the holiday season.

Thank you for all your support on all my blogs this year! And may you and yours enjoy a wonderful New Year as well!



Lots of Christmas season humor to make you laugh during the stressful holiday rush:


Funny Christmas Conversations Story - Do you remember the funny and downright lame excuses your parents used to give you when talking about Santa coming to visit on Christmas Eve? 3 videos, Cajun Night Before Christmas video poem.

Funny Christmas Cartoons - Check out the irreverent cartoonist offerings for the holiday season.

Funny Holiday Fashion: Gluttony Pants - Get the latest holiday clothing to ensure comfortable holiday feasting.

Funny Life Cartoons This Week - 6 Dec 2010 - Enjoy some laughs while you shop til you drop this holiday season.

The Funny Side of Christmas - Cheeky Quote Day! 16 Dec 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! 23 Dec 2009

Funny Christmas Quotes and More Holiday Fun

Funny Story: Lovable Inflatable Christmas Louise - Don't you just love it when your friends send you these hilarious emails by anonymous authors?


Monday, December 6, 2010

Funny Life Cartoons This Week - 6 Dec 2010

Enjoy some laughs while you shop til you drop this holiday season.




From Denny: Good ol' grouchy Maxine. You can always count on her to spell out the obvious - then speak it out loud - giving courage to everyone to follow her lead. She is definitely not shy about her opinions.

And, besides, when you are feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, stop whatever you are doing, take a deep breath, come on over to this silly blog, get a funny laugh and your world will feel right again. May you enjoy your holidays as much as the most fun day you can remember.

And at the holiday meal with relatives... make sure Uncle Fred keeps his mouth buttoned and his mitts off the lampshade after a few glasses too many of that Christmas jolly wine. Besides, the ultimate revenge is to become the family writer of the family eccentrics. They will so not thank you for it decades later. But the next generation sure will howl with laughter! :)


And give a Big Shoutout to Old Man Winter arriving for the holiday season:


Moderately Confused




America so desperately needs to get unplugged...


Moderately Confused




Moderately Confused




Farcus




Talk about in need of catching up a few hundred years to the current times...


Rob Rogers




Hmmmm... is there a phallic metaphor here...?


Ballard Street




Farcus



There are some seriously strange and desperate people lurking at your local coffee shop...


Ballard Street




Or living desperate lives at home...


Ballard Street




And some people should not be allowed to get bored...


Ballard Street




Ballard Street




Ballard Street




Ah, keeping track of our good health lurking on the store shelves...


Steve Sack




How to get along with others, especially during the holiday rush:


Farcus




*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts - my own best as well as links to other spiritual posts from all viewpoints
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Funny Christmas Cartoons

Check out the irreverent cartoonist offerings for the holiday season.




From Denny: Have you ever noticed how gift giving is always related to crafty politicians? They gift to their rich donors and take from those in need. So when holiday season comes around every year cartoonists are quick on the uptake to notice and offer their observations.

Of course, with the growing need of everyone to be plugged into technology the tech cartoons are growing in abundance too. Santa has to get in the act when it comes to social media.


Chip Bok




Chip Bok




Moderately Confused




Moderately Confused




Moderately Confused




Moderately Confused




Bruce Beattie




Gary Varvel




Robert Ariail




Steve Kelley




Clay Bennett




Moderately Confused




Signe Wilkinson




Lisa Benson




Rob Rogers




Drew Sheneman




Moderately Confused




Rob Rogers




Clay Bennett




Moderately Confused




Rob Rogers




Moderately Confused




*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor
Related Posts with Thumbnails

This Week's Fav Cartoon

Moderately Confused

Genius

  • A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. - Joey Lauren Adams
  • A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it. - Anonymous
  • A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters
  • A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition. - Charles Caleb Colton
  • Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - E.F. Schumacker
  • Character is higher than intellect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
  • Every man is a potential genius - until he does something. - Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
  • Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lynd
  • Every person of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lun
  • Every true genius is bound to be naive. - J.C.F. von Schiller
  • Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
  • Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings
  • Genius is an African who dreams up snow. - Vladimir Nabokov
  • Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one. - E.B. White
  • Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. - George-Louis de Buffon
  • Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
  • Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. - Apple Computer
  • His genius he was quite content in one brief sentence to define; Of inspiration one percent, of perspiration, ninety nine. - Thomas A. Edison
  • I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. - Buckminster Fuller
  • I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring. - James McNeill Whistler
  • I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. - Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
  • I think the world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
  • I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. - John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners
  • I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
  • If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. - Stanley Garn
  • If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't. - Emerson M. Pugh
  • In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self Reliance," Essays, 1841
  • Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart. - Henri Frederic Amiel
  • Men of genius are meteors destined to burn themselves out in lighting up their age. - Napoleon Bonaparte, Discours de Lyon, 1771
  • Passion holds up the bottom of the universe and genius paints up its roof. - Chao Chang
  • Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. - George Scialabra
  • Primitive does not mean stupid. - Anonymous
  • Since when was genius found respectable? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. - Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711
  • Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better. - Carl Jung
  • Talent is that which is in a man's power; genius is that in whose power a man is. - James Russell Lowell, Literary Essays
  • The course of every intellectual, if he pursues his journey long and unflinchingly enough, ends in the obvious, from which the non-intellectuals have never stirred. - Aldous Huxley
  • The difference between intelligence and education is this: intelligence will make you a good living. - Charles F. Kettering
  • The invention of IQ does a great disservice to creativity in education. - Joel Hildebrand
  • The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. - Oscar Wilde
  • The reluctance to put away childish things may be a requirement of genius. - Rebecca Pepper Sinkler
  • There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. - Don Herold
  • This is the nature of genius, to be able to grasp the knowable even when no one else recognizes that it is present. - Deepak Chopra
  • Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. - Mark Twain
  • We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. - Louis Aragon
  • We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow. - President Woodrow Wilson
  • We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein
  • What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult. - Sigmund Freud
  • When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. - Jonathan Swift

Advice

  • Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero
  • A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911
  • I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895
  • Sometimes I give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. - Mary Wortley Montagu
  • I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine. - Josh Billings
  • No one wants advice - only corroboration. - John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
  • It is more easy to be wise for others than for ourselves. - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
  • We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves. - Anonymous
  • The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others. - Anonymous
  • When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Charles Varlet de La Grange, PensĂ©es, 1872
  • Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. - François La Rochefoucauld
  • The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice. - Anonymous
  • When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. - Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings
  • Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life, 1977

Children

  • There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff
  • Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. - Jean de La BruyĂšre, Les CaractĂšres, 1688
  • The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957
  • If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe
  • There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark
  • Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton
  • Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher
  • Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
  • Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969
  • Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
  • Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto
  • Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
  • There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 1945
  • A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault
  • It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. - John W. Gardner and Francesca Gardner Reese
  • What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman
  • While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt
  • Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood
  • The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four - of secondary importance is to prepare for being five. - Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, 1985
  • In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley
  • A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Anonymous
  • Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Anonymous (maybe Art Linkletter?)
  • There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Like fruit, children are sweetest just before they turn bad. - Dena Groquet
  • Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. - Not Your Average Dictionary
  • Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones
  • In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. - Thomas Szasz
  • You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762
  • Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore
  • Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz
  • Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - John W. Whitehead, The Stealing of America, 1983
  • Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford
  • A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Anonymous
  • Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
  • We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley
  • A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Anonymous
  • You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones
  • We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

About Humor

  • The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Anonymous
  • I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank Howard Clark
  • I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee
  • Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
  • Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
  • Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. - Citor Borge
  • Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith
  • A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. - Hugh Sidey
  • A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessammyn West
  • A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William A. Ward
  • Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar
  • Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James
  • Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. - Mark Twain
  • Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier
  • Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks
  • Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb
  • Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Christopher Morley
  • Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx
  • A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Paul Fadiman
  • A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin
  • A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher
  • A joke is a very serious thing. - Winston Churchill

Birthday Quotes

  • Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson
  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Larry Lorenzoni
  • May you live to be a hundred years - With one extra year to repent.
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
  • Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. - Jean Paul Richter
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
  • I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.
  • You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.
  • I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. - George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
  • Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
  • Youth is a disease from which we all recover. - Dorothy Fulheim
  • First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey
  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope
  • Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. - Truman Capote
  • Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. - Dan Bennett
  • Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. - Charles Schulz
  • They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
  • When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. - Mark Twain
  • The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
  • Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
  • Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. - Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
  • We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
  • A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
  • There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
  • Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go-unless you enjoy them.
  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. - Chili Davis
  • To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
  • You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
  • If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
  • Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
  • Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
  • The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
  • Looking fifty is great - if you’re sixty.
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
  • After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
  • Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
  • Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
  • It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.
  • When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
  • When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
  • Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
  • Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
  • About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
  • Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

Relationships

  • Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges. - Thomas W. Higginson
  • I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
  • In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
  • A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
  • He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
  • If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  • Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
  • The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne-Marie Roland
  • Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
  • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce
  • Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde
  • Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use a words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid that area altogether. Trust me - Tim Allen
  • Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a nearsighted man. - Yoko Ono
  • Twitter was invented by men. A woman would have chosen a higher character limit.
  • I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby
  • If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday. - Noel Coward
  • True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match. – Groucho Marx
  • I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx
  • Ugly visual: When you're up to your nose in sh*t, keep your mouth shut. - Anonymous
  • If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks. - Cynthia Nelms
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. - Steven Wright
  • I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody Allen
  • Love lasteth as long as the money endureth. - William Caxton
  • The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. - Jerome K. Jerome
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, & I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than 1 night." - Anonymous
  • "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? – (understandably) Anonymous
  • I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
  • Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. - Mae West (wink wink)
  • In life; it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out! - Joey Adams

Make You Wanna Wince: Dumbisms

  • If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done. - Michael S. Traylor
  • I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. - Dan Quayle
  • The loss of life will be irreplaceable. - Dan Quayle
  • Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand. - Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst, a word smith he isn't
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – (understandably) Anonymous, probably from a stoned rocker after a concert
  • If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
  • We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur. - Dan Quayle, VP to Bush 41
  • If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle
  • We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. - Parish Magazine
  • Please provide the date of your death. - from an IRS letter
  • I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. – President George W. Bush (Bush 43)

Pet Quotes: Funny & Serious

  • When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet
  • I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton
  • Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
  • Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
  • Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers
  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
  • Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
  • A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha
  • I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine
  • A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. ~ Anonymous
  • The dog represents all that is best in man. ~ Etienne Charlet
  • Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. ~ Anonymous
  • And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. ~ Bedouin Legend
  • The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. ~ John Berry
  • A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. ~ Samuel Butler
  • If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. ~ James Thurber
  • The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. ~ Rudyard Kipling
  • The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
  • The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
  • There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. ~ Robert Lynd
  • You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! ~ Dave Barry
  • All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. ~ Samuel Butler
  • A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! ~ Shakespeare
  • A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. ~ Tesio
  • To err is human, to purr, feline. ~ Robert Byrne
  • To err is human, to forgive, canine. ~ Anonymous
  • Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~ Sue Murphy
  • No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. ~ Anonymous
  • A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history... ~ Anonymous
  • There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~ Ben Williams
  • I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. ~ Walt Whitman
  • If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~ James Herriot
  • I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. ~ Jean Cocteau
  • A house is not a home without a pet. ~ Anonymous
  • In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. ~ Warren Eckstein
  • Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~ Ann Landers
  • Dogs have owners; cats have staff. ~ Anonymous
  • A canter is the cure for all evil. ~ Benjamin Disraeli on horses
  • Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. ~ Joe Gores
  • Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. ~ Anatole France
  • A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. ~ Josh Billings
  • You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! ~ Theophile Gautier
  • The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. ~ Anonymous
  • We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. ~ Immanual Kant
  • An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
  • If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. ~ Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce
  • There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. ~ Robert Brault, robertbrault.com ~ Robert Brault
  • To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. ~ Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988
  • I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~ Winston Churchill
  • I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. ~ Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907
  • Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. ~ Robert Brault
  • I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. ~ Robert Brault
  • Most pets display so many humanlike traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. ~ Stephenie Geist
  • Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~ Colette
  • It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. ~ Henry David Thoreau
  • Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. ~ Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769
  • The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. ~ Hebrew Proverb
  • Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. ~ Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
  • Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. ~ Robert Brault
  • It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. ~ Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
  • You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~ Nora Ephron
  • Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. ~ George Eliot
  • Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! ~ Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist
  • No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz
  • Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous
  • Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~ Anonymous
  • There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. ~ Wesley Bates
  • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
  • A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. ~ Hazel Nicholson
  • There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
  • You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table.- Denny Lyon
  • Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
  • My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~ Edith Wharton
  • He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. ~ Robert Brault
  • The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras
  • No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley
  • If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Harry S. Truman
  • A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner
  • The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland
  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. Lenny Bruce
  • Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields

Political Humor

  • A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
  • He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
  • "If we were a dog food, they would take us off the shelf." - Rep. Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.), in a memo to colleagues about the problem with the Republican brand
  • "Now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come on!" - Barack Obama, about John McCain
  • "If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous." - New York Gov. David Patterson, on John McCain at his speech at the Democratic National Convention 2008
  • "I've been sleeping like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry.'' - John McCain, talking to Jay Leno about his election loss
  • "So?" —Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008
  • "So what?" –President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008
  • "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." –President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008 (Oh, this is funny on so many levels...)
  • "I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." - Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins (2007)
  • "You can always tell when the Republicans are getting restless, because the Vice President's motorcade pulls into the Capitol, and Darth Vader emerges." – Hillary Clinton about VP Cheney in 2007
  • "Thanks for the question, you little jerk." -- John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him. (2007)
  • "I've been asked if that nickname bothers me, and the answer is, no. After all, Darth Vader is one of the nicer things I've been called recently." - Dick Cheney (2007 – this guy thrives on negative attention)
  • "A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days." – George W. Bush, at the 2007 Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner

Holiday: Mother's Day

  • Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills: Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno, comedian, TV host
  • Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns, American vaudeville and TV comedian