Joke: Smart Dog Goes Meat Shopping

Smart Dog

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be helped. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?"
The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.

He then said, "Anything else?"

The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?"

The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied two packages of meat around the dog's neck. The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. It walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house and began to scratch at the door to be let in. As the owner opened the door, the man said to the owner, "That's a really smart dog you have there."

The owner said, "He's not really all that smart. This is the second time this week he forgot his key."


Ground beef, Dogbert, Pork chop, Butcher, Home, Food, Cooking, Meat, Pork, smart dog, jokes, dog, dog joke, Dogbert

Joke: Cat Goes to Heaven

Tokoyo Cat Cafe where for $10 customers can play with their favorite cat - Image by Getty Images via Daylife

From Denny: Today's my birthday so I thought I'd mellow out and lay back on the early AM posting. Found this over at Jokes.net, enjoy!

Cat Goes to Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"



Cat, Roller skates, Heaven, Family, Pets, Lord, jokes, Humor

Video: Cat in the Sack

From Denny: This short video gives new meaning to pet boredom. What kind of a cat walks around the house with a paper sack on his head for fun? Well, this guy does; talk about strange. Time to roll out the pet psychiatrist and pay the deductible, folks!

Just click on the title link to take you there as Yahoo Video only provides links. Also, look for the video by this title of Cat in the Sack on the page.

Cat photo by chefranden @ flickr

Cat, funny pets, funny video, humor

Did You Hear About the Latest Silly Cat Study?

From Denny: This one really made me laugh! Do they know one of my cats? BTW, there is not a real cat study going on that I know of, however, for the right price of a few million government dollars I'll be more than happy to do one. Tell me: What outcome would you most prefer? I'll make sure to meet your marketing needs.

Image by Brimley via Flickr

Quote

Cat Law of Selective Hearing: "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away." - Anonymous

Ironic Twist Curmudgeon Quote: these folks need to lighten up!

All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy.
~Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy, 1651

Another Silly Curmudgeon Quote

That I could clamber to the frozen moon
And draw the ladder after me.

~ Author Unknown

Video: What Made Wedding Video a Web Hit?

From Denny: From reporter Mike Taibbi he explains why this wedding video has taken the world by storm. This is also a good video for people who are still scratching their heads trying to figure out what all the fuss is about on this one video.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Video: Wedding Party Recreates Blissful Boogie for Today Show

From Denny: They are at it again for national TV! One of the ushers is now in a cast since the original wedding video and was still in the dance.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Viral Video: Wedding Entrance Dance

From Denny: Enjoy this fun version of how to do your wedding day! It's gone viral on the web. This will make your day for the happiness quotient!

Ironic Curmudgeon Quote

He seems
To have seen better days, as who has not
Who has seen yesterday?

~ George Gordon, Lord Byron, Werner

Viral Video: Wedding Entrance Dance

From Denny: Enjoy this fun version of how to do your wedding day! It's gone viral on the web.

Funny Curmudgeon Quote

Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness,
Some boundless contiguity of shade,
Where rumour of oppression and deceit,
Of unsuccessful or successful war,
Might never reach me more.

~ William Cowper

Funny Poem about Retirement from Work

Retired Racing Greyhound who make GREAT pets! Image via Wikipedia

Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.

~ Richard Armour

Funny Poem about a Commuter to Work

Image via Wikipedia

Commuter - one who spends his life
In riding to and from his wife;
A man who shaves and takes a train,
And then rides back to shave again.

~ E.B. White, "The Commuter," Poems and Sketches, 1982