Dennys Links

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Funny Quotes About Jobs and Work



From Denny: Don't you just love those small corporate cubicles companies expect people to work from and then wonder why they have really bad attitudes and no company loyalty? The answer is because YOU CORPORATE GUYS ARE FREAKING CHEAP!

And then there are those dinky excuses for airline seats... maybe it's time to find and lampoon "flight quotes." I'd rather walk at the rate the airline industry is going with lousy service, mediocre food when you can get it, tiny seats that I can fit into but the tall man next to me with broad shoulders ends up understandably lapping over into my personal space, a bit too personal at times...

Oh, well, when Life bites you just have to laugh at it. Here are some funny work and jobs quotes to keep you going through the work week, enjoy, my fellow harried friends!

Quotes

* Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. ~ Paula Poundstone

* The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ~ Anonymous

* By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~ Robert Frost

* I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week. ~ Vince McMahon

* Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses. ~ Ira Wallach

* What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. ~ Pearl Bailey

* One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. ~ Bertrand Russell

* What is it that you like doing? If you don't like it, get out of it, because you'll be lousy at it. ~ Lee Iacocca, former Chrysler CEO

* A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. ~ Dean Acheson ~ Otherwise known as C. Y. A.

* Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. ~ C. Northcote Parkinson, 1958

* The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week. ~ Robert Frost



This photo is like the perfect office doodle on a slow day...

* The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. ~ Robert Frost

* People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. ~ Ogden Nash

* You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant. ~ Martin H. Fischer

* An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. ~ Niels Bohr

* Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~ Understandably Anonymous

* A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time. ~ William C. Feather

* I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And it was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time. ~ Bill Gold

* Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job. ~ Jay Leno



* I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ~ Danny McGoorty

* Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~ Douglas Adams

* The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ~ Stanley J. Randall

* The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. ~ Arnold Toynbee

* A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. ~ Dave Barry

* Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. ~ Anonymous

* A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. ~ "Fats" Domino

* Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~ H. Jackson Browne

* Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. ~ Howard Aiken



* The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish. ~ Fred Barling, "Humorscope"

* If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station? ~ Anonymous

* Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. ~ Doug Larson

* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. ~ Anonymous

* Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. ~ John G. Pollard

* Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~ Robert Orben

* If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-a$$ed. That's the American way. ~ Homer Simpson, The Simpsons ~ Let's see: half-a$$ed pay = half-a$$ed work or the old proverb: If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

*** THANKS for visiting and come back often for a grin!