Some Surefire Ways to Get a Person to Fall in Love with You According to Kids!
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, age 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might
get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
(Alonzo, age 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's
something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for
me." (Bart, age 9)
Kids ask: When is it OK to kiss someone?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over
you... That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, age 10)
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to
buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have
videos of the wedding." (Jim, age 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing
thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be
willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few
hours." (Kally, age 9)
Kids Comment on the role good looks play in the game of Love
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your
family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, age 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome
like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, age 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long
time." (Christine, age 9)
The Barber and the Whorehouse Perfume Splash
My husband was telling me a joke while my 7 year old son
listened. In the joke is a line about a barber being told *not* to
put hair tonic on the customer because the customer's wife
would think he'd been to a whorehouse. Another customer
tells a second barber to go ahead and splash it on -- his wife
doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.
My son turns to me and says, "Do *you* know what it smells
like, Mommy?"
Cousin comes to visit at the farm and tells of his bus ride
My cousin Brad came to visit from the farm last summer. I asked
how his bus ride was and he said he had a good ride except for a
rude lady he encountered.
I asked what the problem was, and he said that when the lady got
on there were no seats left, so he offered her his seat. She
declined since she was only riding for a short distance. However,
while she was standing with her butt right in his face, he noticed
her dress was caught up in her crack. He decided to be nice and help
her so he pulled it out.
Well, she turned around and whopped him so hard it practically turned out his lights!
Then I asked him what he did next.
And Brad said that since she was that rude, he poked the dress right
back in there!
(A practical guy. He should do well on the farm.)
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Photo Credits
I Love You sign by Torley @ flickr
Sprawled sleeping pregnant cat by the name of Silly Mindy photo by clspeace @ flickr