Sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
On University Campus:
"In a rare lapse of generosity, the NCAA has decided college athletes can get jobs. This statement was sent via ship-to-shore cable from the NCAA yacht SS TV Revenue anchored off Monte Carlo."
"Athletes just can't make it any more on what alumni give them," says Alan Ray.
On a job board:
"Man, honest, will take anything."
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
My 9 year old son walked in the house one morning. He was supposed to be waiting on the school bus. He told me he had seen the funniest thing ever - my dog's butt was 'frozen' to the neighbors dog's butt. Poor child.
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
Richard said he had a hat that says, "For sale- Ex Wife. Take over payments."
I was sitting behind a car at a stop light the other day and I noticed that it had a bumper sticker that read "Honk if you love Jesus". So I thought about it a bit and since I loved Jesus, I honked my horn.
I was very suprised when the driver of the car got out and yelled, "The light is still red, you asshole!!!!" He got back in the car and drove off through the light which had just turned green.
You Ought to be in Pictures: More than 50 people responded to an invitation to a casting call for a Robert DeNiro movie being shot in Boston. The only problem was, the invitations were sent by police. To people with outstanding arrest warrants. One woman complained she "took a day off from work" to meet DeNiro. She was led away in handcuffs instead. "It's so nice to scam people who are scammers," one detective said. The casting call, sent to 3,800 fugitives, offered more than $200 for two hours of work as extras, plus the chance of "becoming famous." (UPI news)
*** See Also: Funny Legal News Story: The Case of a Contraceptives Misstaken Use
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!