From Denny: Since I just found out that Blogger only backs up posts and not the links in the sidebar or anything else on the blog... figured it was a great idea to put all my quotes lists into category posts. The blog should load faster too as it will reduce the number of links on the sidebar. Have fun grinning with the antics of these cats and their peeps! :)
Quotes
* A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. - William Ralph Inge
* A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to. - Louis J. Camuti
* A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes. - Indian Proverb
* A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand. - Proverb
* A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization. - Anonymous
* A cat isn't fussy - just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor. - Arthur Bridges
* A cat pours his body on the floor like water. - William Lyon Phelps
* A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. - Jerome K. Jerome
* A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys. - Barbara Holland
* A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem. - Jean Burden
* A kitten is the most irresistible comedian in the world. Its wide-open eyes gleam with wonder and mirth. It darts madly at nothing at all, and then, as though suddenly checked in the pursuit, prances sideways on its hind legs with ridiculous agility and zeal. - Agnes Repplier
* A meow massages the heart. - Stuart McMillan
* After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. - Charlotte Gray
* Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue. - Sidney Denham
* An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. - Carl Van Vechten
* As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. - Ellen Perry Berkeley
* Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons. - Robertson Davies
* By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. - Barbara Holland (my cats roll over for me anyway!)
* Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes. - Eric Gurney
* Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance. - Dan Greenburg
* Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. - Garrison Keillor
* Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility. - Stephen Baker
* Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. - Joseph Wood Krutch
* Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
* Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish. - James Gorman
* Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart. - P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners
* Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible. - Roger Caras
* Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. - Pam Brown
* Cats come and go without ever leaving. - Martha Curtis
* Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off. - Michael Nelson
* Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it. - Arthur Bridges
* Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
* Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. - Paul Gray
* Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. - Albert Einstein
* Does the father figure in your cat's life ever clean the litter box? My husband claims that men lack the scooping gene. - Barbara L. Diamond
* Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Mary Bly
* Dogs eat. Cats dine. - Ann Taylor
* Dogs have owners, cats have staff. - Anonymous
* Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. - John Weitz
* Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. - Gary Smith
* God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion. - Fernand Mery
* He swings from the chandelier, he paws my peanut butter, and he knocks over my drink in the most unfortunate places in the house - but I still love him like crazy. It's like a hairball in my heart. - Audra Foveo-Alba
* I don't think it is so much the actual bath that most cats dislike; I think it's the fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back in place. - Debbie Peterson
* I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. - Steve Martin
* I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. - Bill Dana
* I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but his or her entertainment value. - Anonymous
* I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine
* I named my kitten Rose - fur soft as a petal, claws sharper than thorns. - Astrid Alauda
* I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. "Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it." She looks up and gives me her full gaze. "Don't be ridiculous," she purrs, "I wrote it." - Dilys Laing, "Miao"
* I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. - Edgar Allan Poe
* If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred North Whitehead
* If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
* If cats could talk, they wouldn't. - Nan Porter
* If I tried to tell you how much I love my cats, you wouldn't believe me - unless your heart is also meow-shaped and covered in stray fur. - Lexie Saige
* If only cats grew into kittens. - R. Stern
* If purring could be encapsulated, it'd be the most powerful anti-depressant on the pharmaceutical market. - Alexis F. Hope
* If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro. - Bruce Fogle
* If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr. - Barbara L. Diamond
If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr. - Martin Buxbaum
* Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. - Mark Twain
* In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. - Terry Pratchett
* In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. - Dereke Bruce
* In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein
* It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it. - Susan Howatch
* It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. - Cynthia E. Varnado
* It's really the cat's house - we just pay the mortgage. - Anonymous
* Kittens are angels with whiskers. - Anonymous
* Kittens can happen to anyone. - Paul Gallico
* Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything. - Hank Ketchum
* Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner. - Stephen Baker
* Most cats do not approach humans recklessly. The possibility of concealed weapons, clods or sticks, tend to make them reserved. Homeless cats in particular - with some justification, unfortunately - consider humans their natural enemies. Much ceremony must be observed, and a number of diplomatic feelers put out, before establishing a state of truce. - Lloyd Alexander
* Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously. - Louis J. Camuti
* My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. - Understandably Anonymous
* No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. - Leo Dworken
* Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it. - Stephen Baker
* One cat just leads to another. - Ernest Hemingway
* One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it's affection, the taste, or a trial run for the jugular. - Helen Thomson
Cheating: It hurts everyone!
* One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain
* People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick
* Psychologists now recognize that the need in some people to have a dozen cats is really a sublimated desire to have two dozen cats. - Robert Brault
* Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow.- Monica Edwards
* She clawed her way into my heart and wouldn't let go. - Missy Altijd
* Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives. - Anonymous
* Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat. - Lillian Johnson
* Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. - Missy Dizick
* Sometimes he curls up on my pillow during the night and I don't know he's there until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker. - Astrid Alauda
* The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson
* The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. - William S. Burroughs
* The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. - Ernest Menaul
* The cat is above all things, a dramatist. - Margaret Benson
* The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree. - Colette
* The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city. - Carl van Vechten
* The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life. - Carl Van Vechten
* The cat was created when the lion sneezed. - Arabian Proverb
* The city of cats and the city of men exist one inside the other, but they are not the same city. - Italo Calvino
* The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else. - Lawrence N. Johnson
The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. - Mark Twain
* The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. - Paula Poundstone, comic
* The smallest feline is a masterpiece. - Leonardo da Vinci (talk about coming highly recommended!)
* The smart cat doesn't let on that he is. - H.G. Frommer
* The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat. - Michael McGarel
The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away. - E.W. Howe
* There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
* There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. - Dan Greenberg
* There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates
* To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction - and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by. - Stephen Baker
* To err is human, to purr is feline. - Robert Byrne
* Too Many Cats? All your windowsills are occupied. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Even your coffee table has a slip cover. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Every year you get a personally autographed Christmas card from Morris. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Flea collars smell good to you. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? For Mothers Day last year the kids pooled their money and bought you an electric cat brush. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? More than half your mail comes from Purina and Friskies. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? The most important crop in your garden every year is catnip. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? You actually understand what your cats are saying. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? You and your spouse are sleeping on the floor because there's no more room in the bed. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? You have to change the vacuum cleaner bags every week. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Your annual cat food bill is more than the combined Gross National Product of Liechtenstein, Andorra, and San Marino. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Your cat door has been replaced three times. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Your last three cats are named Puss, Kitty-cat, and Hey You. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? Your neighbors forget your last name and start referring to you as "you know, the cat people." - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? The cleaning lady at the vet's office calls you by your first name. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? You can't remember what a house plant looks like. - Kathie Freeman
* Too Many Cats? You're running out of corners to put litter boxes in. - Kathie Freeman
* Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. - Jim Davis
* We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. - Mark Twain
* When a cat speaks, it's because it has something to say, unlike humans who are the great refuse containers of speech. - V.L. Allineare
* Women, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive systems. - Helen M. Winslow
* You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. - George Mikes
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles.
* You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. - Proverb
* You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table. - Denny Lyon
* Your cat may never have to hunt farther than the kitchen counter for its supper nor face a predator more fierce than the vacuum cleaner. - Barbara L. Diamond
* Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. - Helen Powers
Related Articles
Cat Philospher: Curty Talks About Temptation (dennysfunnyquotes.blogspot.com)
Cat Philosopher: Curty Talks About Friendship (dennysfunnyquotes.blogspot.com)
*** All these crazy photos found littered on the internet alley, many from the scavanged trash cans of my fun irreverant StumbleUpon friends...
*** For more laughs make sure you visit my other blog, The Social Poets, for late night show quips, jokes and funny videos all in one Roundup of Sunday Funnies post every Monday. Cheeky Quote Day is on Wednesdays and Editorial Cartoons Roundup on Saturdays.
*** Check out my other humor blog - Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd - where I park whatever I find while cruising the web, a variety of goodies!
*** To keep you laughing and arm you with some interesting trivia check out 25 Weird Coffee Trivia to Astound and Amuse You! Funny coffee related photos too, enjoy!
*** THANKS for visiting and come back often for a silly grin of the day!
