Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Funny Jon Stewart On Happy Gays, NYC Gay Pride Parade

From Denny: It's been the talk of the news stations all over America this week. New York legalized marriage for same sex couples. It is a major civil rights victory. Though, I predict, that once they get accustomed to having the right to marry they will do just like everyone else: get divorced.

But, as Jon Stewart tells it, "it set gay and lesbian couples free from having to set foot in Connecticut" (to get married).

Of course, to hear conservatives tell it, this is now the end of society as we know it. Does this sound as silly to you as it does me? Why would someone else getting married affect whether I choose to get married or stay married?

Meanwhile, the real reason for giving a group of folks their civil rights surfaced. New York state will realize $184 million in revenue over the next three years.

Of course, what will really be interesting to watch over the next decade is just how much the gay population may decline. After all, if society soon legalizes all that is wicked, rebellious or taboo just how interesting will being gay continue to be? Gay and married may become the new boring. * * * 2 funny videos from Jon.

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Twisted Misinformation From Fox News

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Twisted Misinformation From Fox News: "From Denny: Jon Stewart really rips into Fox News and Chris Wallace about how they present their idea of the truth. Their thinking is so confused and perverted it boggles the minds of clear thinkers.

What Fox News purports is that Jon Stewart is a partisan Democrat who likes to make fun of conservatives. They believe he makes fun of some liberals and Obama in order to maintain his credibility he is unbiased and fair. Hunh???

From Jon Stewart: 'That narrative of conservative victimization is the true genius of what Fox News has accomplished. Any editorial judgment in news, or schools or movies that doesn't favor the conservative view is elitism and is evidence of liberal bias.

'Whereas any editorial judgment that favors the conservative view is merely evidence of fairness and done to protect them from liberal bias. And, if you criticize Fox for this game, guess what that's evidence of: how right they are about how they are so persecuted. That argument is air tighter than an otter's anus.'"

Visual Insights: Music: Britney Spears Performs Hold It Against Me

Pop singer Britney Spears gained her second U....Image via Wikipedia

Visual Insights: Music: Britney Spears Performs Hold It Against Me: "From Denny: Louisiana girl Britney Spears, like most child artists, has seen her fair share of ups and downs on the road to personal maturity. Everyone here in Louisiana has an opinion about her, good and bad. She is a sweet, loving person though often lacking good judgment about those she chooses to bring close to her.

This song is great for dancing and a night out. As far as lyrics go they are simple and uninteresting. She starts with an interesting theme but does not develop it. The video production is visually exciting and well produced - and that's what saves this song - and the artist.

There is a whole range of visuals going on here in this music video that debuted on YouTube in February 2011, so take a look:"

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Visual Insights: Music: Rapper Talib Kweli Performs Cold Rain, Get By on Colbert

Visual Insights: Music: Rapper Talib Kweli Performs Cold Rain, Get By on Colbert: "What I like about this group is they have created a more musically and mentally interesting version of hip hop and rap by adding the jazz vibe that winds through the music tying it all together."

The Social Poets: Roundup of Late Nite Jokes: 2012 Election Politics

The Social Poets: Roundup of Late Nite Jokes: 2012 Election Politics: "From Denny:While the nation laughs at the GOP contenders trolling across the nation for dollars and votes the comedians are out in full force making us laugh harder. First, there is the Sarah Palin 'We The People' Bus Tour across America to show her patriotism.

Forget it the historic facts were spewed out wrong. Just keep rolling that bus while you collect wads of cash to stuff into your greedy pockets. It's amazing anyone gives her money as she promises illogical things and delivers air promises.  When the press quotes her exactly everyone is still left scratching their heads, wondering what was she addressing as an issue and what was her solution.

Then we all got to snicker as Newt Gingrich got fired by his own campaign. Come on. Who fires their candidate? Yeah, it was that bad. Kind of makes you feel bad for the Republicans. OK, not enough to vote for any of them but still... Can you imagine trying to sell lipstick on the Newt Pig? That's one hard sell that not even Tiffany's jewelry could improve. It's no wonder they covered their faces like The Taliban and left town."

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Wall Street For Causing Greek Crisis

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Wall Street For Causing Greek Crisis: "From Denny: Get your crash course in crooked banking Wall Street style from your favorite comedian. He does make learning fun. Why wasn't college this entertaining?

You have all hear about how Greece is melting down financially. Recently, the European Union put on hold their $billion bailout while they await Greece to sell off some of their assets. What took the Greeks so long to get around to the obvious? They should have sold their banks and state-owned companies years ago when they were first in trouble.

If you have ever visited Greece you soon learn they have one terrific lifestyle. It's not terribly responsible on the individual level any more than on the national level. They literally party every night, spending hundreds of dollars a night. They do not save money. They don't believe in savings accounts. Amazing."

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Funny Art: A True Gentle Man

Funny Monkey
silly monkey photo has nothing to do with this post. :)

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Funny Art: A True Gentle Man: "From Denny: An artist with a sense of humor is more fun than a barrel of monkeys let loose in your living room and swinging from the chandeliers while swilling Guinness beer. Party on!

I happened upon this artist while searching for coffee photos for my online newspaper. You just never know what fun discoveries are waiting around the corner! This is from nyoin @ flickr, an illustrator and graphic designer from South Korea."

The Social Poets: Billionaire Koch Brothers Send Attack Lobbyists to Stop Energy Legislation

The Social Poets: Billionaire Koch Brothers Send Attack Lobbyists to Stop Energy Legislation: "From Denny: The famous Koch Brothers, who love to meddle in the very same government they claim should not basically exist, are now flexing their financial muscles again. They are demanding legislators lose the proposed energy legislation for natural gas subsidies to help wean America off oil.

Of course, Koch Industries, based out of Kansas, primarily has interests in oil, refining and pipelines as well as chemicals and consumer products like toilet paper (Angel Soft) and paper towels (Brawny). These are the same numb nuts that want to burrow an oil sands pipeline straight up through America to Canada from Houston.

Did I mention they want to dig said crazy pipeline under the only fresh drinking water, an underground glacier, for the entire Midwest population? Oh, and they claim 'it's perfectly safe and nothing will go wrong.' Uh, huh, and that's what BP told us here in Louisiana about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill clean up."

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dennys People Watching: Funny Actor Tom Hanks Does The TV Weather, Larry Crowne Movie Trailer

Dennys People Watching: Funny Actor Tom Hanks Does The TV Weather, Larry Crowne Movie Trailer: "From Denny: Funny actor Tom Hanks stopped in at the Spanish news network, Univision, to do more than Show 'N' Tell for his new movie. He and the weather newscaster danced their way through the weather cast. Total silliness and funny. The man loves his improv.

New movie 'Larry Crowne' starts in theaters this weekend and features Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks."

Funny Video: Cat Ferociously Barks, Not Meows, To Protect House

Tough kitty

From Denny: Talk about hilarious! I've had cats with this level of ferocity to protect but never one that barked. Mine were more like silent ninja types that were ready to lop off an intruder's head. Cats are fiercely loyal to The One that fills the food bowl and gives proper cat head massages.

But I digress... This crazy female cat is one fierce Queen! She barks at the cars that pass by her house - and it's non-stop barking no less. What's really funny is she sits up in an open window to do her sentry watch, fur bristled out to look larger than she is - sort of like when an ant stands up on a leaf to appear larger to intruders.

When the cat owner comes up with a video camera to record her unique style of "watch-dogging" - and the cat is busted for barking - the cat starts meowing like a normal cat should. It's like "You blew my cover, dude, now I have to look like a wimpy kitty for the camera."  This cat probably grew up with noisy guard dogs and learned to imitate.  Cats can vocalize more than people realize.  Just ask a Siamese cat owner.

The newscasters seem to think the cat has an identity crisis. I've got one better: she was a guard dog in a previous life and is still on duty. Queens rule! :) Take a look and get your work week laugh on Hump Day.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Funny Animal, People, Work Cartoons

From Denny: Enjoy these cartoons I've been collecting lately. The syndicated cartoonists no longer give out embed codes to the blogger types (and we know who we are). Who knows how long they will continue to enable these codes?

So, I am frantically going through all my draft posts to find the cartoons and get them up quickly. OK, it's really a labor of love because I get to grin while I create a post. It's a tough job but someone has to volunteer, right? :) Enjoy!


Speed Bump

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Social Poets: Schwarzenegger sex scandal, Cartoons

The Social Poets: Schwarzenegger sex scandal, Cartoons: "From Denny: Now that Anthony Weiner is off the laughing stage for sex scandals - after three grueling weeks of ridicule - there are always the funny Schwarzenegger cartoons lying around on this blog waiting for their debut.

Schwarzenegger (R-CA) sure shocked everyone with his big drama of the discovered love child. (Turns out he has several more, according to actress Jane Seymour.) His wife had to feel doubly betrayed because she had trusted her four children with this housekeeper. Just when you think you have heard it all there is another version of this silly story of sex gone wrong.

Did you know that Anthony Weiner (D-NY) has been offered jobs at Hustler magazine and on Al Gore's new network? After all, if disgraced Eliot Spitzer can become a talk show host on CNN why not Anthony Weiner?"

Funny Social Commentary Cartoons

From Denny:  Enjoy these cartoons while they last. The wealthy cartoonists over at Comics.com have all banded together and no longer give embed codes to bloggers for their cartoons. That includes the political cartoonists too.

Sigh.  What!?  No more crazy Palin cartoons or Gingrich.  I might be suffering from cartoons withdrawal soon.  Hopefully, these cartoonists will continue to enable the previous codes like these cartoons.

I guess this can only mean one thing: It's time for me (and you) to learn how to cartoon and do my (our) own silly cartoons. I mean, who has a corner on laughter anyway? We all deserve the right to smiles.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Colbert Interviews Ancient Deal Maker Henry Kissinger

Henry Kissinger, long time member of secret World Order Bilderberg Group

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Colbert Interviews Ancient Deal Maker Henry Kissinger: "From Denny: Nixon's point man to open Communist China to the world, and the early stages of free trade, was former GOP Sec.of State Henry Kissinger. Yes, blame him for losing your job and getting crappy quality imports.

Kissinger, 88-years-old, is hawking his new book 'On China.' Well, at least he didn't bore us with a long title. (Check out the link on Amazon.)

Kissinger did manage to hold his own with the crazy antics of Colbert. In fact, the old guy was good humored and rolled with the punches. He was Colbert's straight man every stand-up comic adores to use on stage."

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert Interviews Janny Scott About Obamas Mother

A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack  Obama's Mother

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert Interviews Janny Scott About Obamas Mother: "From Denny: Colbert tries to nail down the mysterious  person of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, since the President has so far been unwilling to talk about her. It sounds like he had, perhaps still has, mixed feelings about his relationship with her.

A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack Obama's Mother

Apparently, she met and married Obama's father in Hawaii when she was only seventeen years old. Hawaii is a multi-cultural state where interracial relationships are not the scandal as on the mainland. Though even back in the 1960's it raised some disapproving eyebrows. But she was a trail blazer."

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Visual Insights: Whimsical Funny Hats At Ascot Ladies Day

Dragonfly red hat, photo by Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

Visual Insights: Whimsical Funny Hats At Ascot Ladies Day: "From Denny:  Check out the outrageously fun and whimsically styled hats women were sporting today at the Ascot Racecourse near London on Ladies Day.  It's held on the third day of racing during the Royal Ascot meet and is considered the highlight of the week at the track.

It's sort of like wearing a high class clown suit but everyone admires you, your creativity - and your daring to be the spectacle of public ridicule and laughter -  for wearing such a creation."

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocking GOP Debate: Indecision 2012

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocking GOP Debate: Indecision 2012: "From Denny: Only Jon Stewart could make the GOP debates actually sound somewhat interesting. At our house we consider them a real snooze, OK, yawn. First up was the media beating up on milk toast Pawlenty who refused to slash and gut Romney on 'ObaNeeCare' that only just days before he had criticized Romney.

Since Romney is the current front runner in this 17 month race to the White House, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat while Pawlenty tried to weasel out of his statements against Romney. Yeah, Pawlenty sure looks like Vice President front runner material to the media. He displayed a willingness to accept Beta Dog position to Romney's Alpha Dog.

 Moving right along to Bachmann and her stunner performance. It's obvious she hired an acting coach in conjunction with her speech coach. Too bad she didn't think to hire a Make Any Sense Coach to add to her campaign war chest.   But hey, these Tea Party candidates don't always come to the party with all their marbles.

She proudly announced she had submitted 'the papers just that day to seek the office of the president of the United States.' Well, yeah, honey, and that's why you are involved in a presidential debate the same day. All together now, 'Got sense?'"

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart On Weiner Sex Scandal: The Wangover Part 2

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart On Weiner Sex Scandal: The Wangover Part 2: "From Denny: So why does exhibitionist Congressman Anthony Weiner wonder why everyone is suddenly paying attention to him? Yes, that is the burning media question of the day.

What's more, with all his fellow Democrats piling on, who is left to defend the hapless indefensible Weiner? Well, there is always fellow Congressman Charlie Rangel. Jon Stewart does a great Rangel imitation. Though Rangel does have several good points: 'He doesn't go with prostitutes. He hasn't molested little boys. He doesn't do a wide stance in an airport bathroom.' Well, yeah.

Of course, this week yet more naked photos of Weiner and his proud 'stance' were revealed, photos taken in the House members-only gym locker room. I wonder if those photos were from the security cameras that show Weiner taking pictures of his weener? Talk about strange."

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Funny Coffee Art and Tutorials: Barista With Cat Humor

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Funny Coffee Art and Tutorials: Barista With Cat Humor: "From Denny: Check out coffee tutorials in the form of how to do latte with beautiful designs like the Rosetta. From World of Latte in The Netherlands come some amusingly good looking cups of coffee!  While this site is not in English you can check out World Coffee Events for it is an English language site.

This cat design sure gave me a smile today.  Imagine being greeted with that at a coffeehouse when you are unwinding from a tough day at work!"

Live Solutions Events - Nederlands Kampioenschap Latte Art 2005 (Etching)

Cat Coffee photo by Live Solutions @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

Visual Insights: Dennys Photo Gallery: Beautiful Australia

Australian Canola Field

Australian Canola Field photo by Dreamscope Photography @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

Visual Insights: Dennys Photo Gallery: Beautiful Australia: "From Denny:  What a wonderful find is this photographer from Australia. She gives us a travelogue and history of the images she recorded of her country. The landscape exhibits a wild beauty, drenched in color.

Some excellent landscape photos and some penetrating character portraits are part of her collection over at flickr.  These photos of Australia go far beyond the usual tourism photos.  In fact, Australian travel and tourism should employ this photographer.  It sure makes me want to hop a plane and endure the excessively long ride from America just to see Australia!  There is a lot more to Australia than the Great Barrier Reef so often advertised.

But if you can't get time off to see Australia, this photographer sure makes you feel like you are there. Along the way, as you view her images, you get drawn into the culture and people of Australia. Enjoy the journey through her eyes!  I've included some of her observations, cultural information and comments.

All photos are from Dreamscope Photography @ flickr."

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 12 June 2011

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 12 June 2011: "From Denny: Check out what has been happening in the world of news, comedy, food, poetry, photography, art, music and more. In the past month a whirlwind of news occurred. World terrorist Osama bin Laden was hunted down and killed in a resort town in Pakistan where he had been hiding for the past six years. Supposedly, the Pakistanis were unaware of his presence there. Yeah? And I've got some swamp land in Louisiana to sell you too.

President Obama got a nice bump in approval ratings for about a week and then that fizzled as he resumed his usual do-nothing stance on the economy. Obama also continued with poisonous politics aimed at his own Democrats, throwing them all under the bus in favor of Big Business."

The Social Poets: Stealing Your Blog Content: Duplicate Content Farm MadHealth.net

Stop Sign

The Social Poets: Stealing Your Blog Content: Duplicate Content Farm MadHealth.net: "From Denny: Do you know who is stealing your blog or site content of original articles and posts, even poetry?  Check out a serial violator of duplicate content on the internet.  He may be stealing from your blog or site.  How does it affect you on the internet when your copyright is violated?

The site known as Health News Gate, located at http://www.madhealth.net, is a duplicate content farm, stealing from all over the internet. He is based out of the Ukraine and ignores all contact letters of cease and desist.

MadHealth.net steals from all over the internet in areas of health, news, politics, sports, music, poetry, spiritual, you name it.  Just a duplicate content farm that Google has yet to put out of their search engine."

*** To find out more just click on the link ***

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Social Poets: Comics Lampoon Hapless Anthony Weiner, Weird Headlines, Photos

The Social Poets: Comics Lampoon Hapless Anthony Weiner, Weird Headlines, Photos: "From Denny: This poor schmuck is beginning to look sympathetic. It's like everyone is piling on, OK, dumping on him, everything they are angry about in life. Right now, with a down economy and no relief in sight, that's considerable.

It's like there is this ninth grade mentality that has taken over the media, screaming the crudest headlines in the newspapers, TV and online news. Check out the ridiculous photos of the Weinergate scandal.

Meanwhile, the comics are lampooning his stupid Twitter antics. Sadly, comic Jon Stewart is good friends with Weiner and feels betrayed after trying to defend Weiner.

When the Weiner scandal first broke I figured it was just more toxic politics in an election year and I ignored it. Then it drug on and the media carried it on the nightly news incessantly. I caught a CNN interview with Weiner and knew immediately he was lying and that he had, in fact, sent the photos and they were his photos.

He did not admit it in the interview but rather dodged the questions. It was his body language that gave him away. A few days later he finally admitted out loud what was true. Hey, at least he's a bad liar. That's the good news for a politician."

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Social Poets: Aww, Gingrich Campaign Fizzles: Top Aides Quit En Masse

The problem with Newt is he enjoys his own reflection too much.

The Social Poets: Aww, Gingrich Campaign Fizzles: Top Aides Quit En Masse: "From Denny: Would we expect any less from Gingrich? The guy can't stay married. The guy can't make a commitment in a campaign he is so busy flip-flopping, trying to figure out if he is a liberal conservative or a conservative hypocritical liberal. You decide.

Well, today a whole wolf pack of his top aides said 'Goodbye and Good Riddance!' to the Newt. After all, any political strategist that wants the paychecks to keep rolling in would not bet on Newtie to make it past the first 30 days.

Of course, there is all the usual nice talk claiming this or that. The reality is that this guy is hard to live with and difficult to shut up. Newt is clueless as how to run a campaign or act in a campaign. He keeps harping back to the good ol' days when he could fool people with his lies. The problem is that now those same people are 30 years older and 30 years wiser to his double-dealing tricks."

Visual Insights: Dennys Photo Gallery: Fathers Day

Visual Insights: Dennys Photo Gallery: Fathers Day: "From Denny: Check out these awesome photos I found for today's theme! Some wonderful offerings from amateur and professional photographers alike. The black and white photos have a very intimate quality to them. I liked the ones of girls smothering their dads with kisses as I liked to do the same with my grandfather and my favorite uncle when I was a little girl. They used to laugh and beam for hours afterward. Give the father in your life some love today. He deserves it! Of course, I had to include some humorous photos as well. Enjoy!"


Father and daughter taking a snooze photo by evankok @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

Dennys World of Quotes: Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational

happy fathers day
Happy Father's Day! photo by jwlphotography @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

Dennys World of Quotes: Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational: "Best quote: The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. - Robert Frost

Father's Day Quotes

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham, Christian Evangelist

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh, Catholic Priest and President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame

How true Daddy's words were when he said: 'All children must look after their own upbringing.' Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank, German Jew and Holocaust Victim

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, U.S. Author and Educator

We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual. - George Will, U.S. Journalist

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Fathers Day Music: Keith Urban Sings Song For Dad

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Fathers Day Music: Keith Urban Sings Song For Dad: "From Denny: Keith Urban offers up his observations on fatherhood and how he has become much like his own father. 'Sometimes, women become their mothers when they grow up and sometimes men become their fathers' goes the saying.

Included are the poetic lyrics which paint a vivid picture of a child remembering his father."

Best Spiritual Posts: Christian Music: Fathers Day Song - My Dad by Abel Ullon

Best Spiritual Posts: Christian Music: Fathers Day Song - My Dad by Abel Ullon: "From Denny: Just in time for Father's Day is an original song from a South American artist now living in America, working on his American dream. He has a strong faith in God and weaves it into his music.

His parents are both musicians and started him young on a guitar. This song is a tribute to his father and, in a double meaning, it can also be seen as a tribute to Father God."

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert: Anthony Weiners Emergency Press Conference

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert: Anthony Weiners Emergency Press Conference: "Weiner said he regularly had sex talk-text conversations via Twitter, email, facebook, phone and probably every other kind of technology known to man. The most shocking news is that he did not ever get to 'know' any of these women. He never had sex with anyone."

Monday, June 6, 2011

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Cartoon From Raymond Betancourt: When Cool Got Left Behind

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Cartoon From Raymond Betancourt: When Cool Got Left Behind: "From Denny: Definitely when old guys get into trouble at the golf course. It sure does make your brain revisit getting old and wondering if you really want to be part of the longevity generation. Time for a proper monkey scream. Hmmmm..."

Funny Cartoon From Raymond Betancourt: A Man And His Music

From Denny: A Monday morning laugh is in order after an interesting weekend for some of you out there. You know who you are.

You have enjoyed Raymond's vampire cartoons. Here's one for the Sci Fi crowd, well, er, sort of...

Come on! It's tough coming up with great post titles that don't give away the cartoonist's punch line.

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Art: Check Out Process 4 Famous Cartoonist Jeff Stahler

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Art: Check Out Process 4 Famous Cartoonist Jeff Stahler: "From Denny: In an informal interview this famous syndicated cartoonist talks about his cartooning process and how it evolves during his day. His manner is downright droll and rambling but we get to see him ink his cartoons about Donald Trump. He's been doing editorial cartoons for 28 years now. Take a look at his wonderfully messy attic studio that only a fellow creative soul can appreciate. :)"

The Social Poets: Funny Stephen Colbert Mocks The Debt Ceiling Angst

Stephen Colbert on the debt ceiling ridicule

The Social Poets: Funny Stephen Colbert Mocks The Debt Ceiling Angst: "From Denny: Only Colbert would dare to take on the angst riddled politicians and political strategists when it comes to the debt ceiling in need of raising its proverbial roof. Colbert: 'Hey, President Bush did it in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007 and twice in 2008.'

He goes on to reveal the hypocrisy of the Republicans in blocking the debt ceiling bill the Democrats were supporting. Never mind it was the Republicans who introduced this same bill. Yes, the Republicans stood up against themselves and voted down their own legislation. Hunh?

Who needs to go to political blogs for the explanation of the truly weird American politics reality show when you can get it from Colbert or Jon Stewart?"

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Social Poets: State of the Economy, Oprah, College Grads, 2012 Election, Cartoons

The Social Poets: State of the Economy, Oprah, College Grads, 2012 Election, Cartoons: "From Denny: Today President Obama's political team demanded $60 million from high roller campaign donors in Chicago, to be delivered before the end of June. Uh, there isn't even anyone to face yet in the Republican camp. A little over reaching, don't you think?

2012 Presidential Campaign

But hey, Mitt Romney jumped up and officially announced he is running for president. In case you have followed so many of his flip-flops of where he stands or doesn't stand - on just about any issue - he is running on the Republican side of the political aisle. Not to be confused with a guy not born in Kenya by the name of Obama. :)"

Comfort Food From Louisiana: New Orleans Chef Sclafani Silver Medal Winner: Seared Scallops, Truffled Corn Pudding

Chef's Surprise: Sea ScallopsAnother scallop recipe by ulterior epicure via Flickr

Comfort Food From Louisiana: New Orleans Chef Sclafani Silver Medal Winner: Seared Scallops, Truffled Corn Pudding: "From Denny: President Obama is a huge fan of scallops, often ordering them when he dines out. Yeah, me too, as long as they are those huge honking ocean scallops! The beauty of scallops is they cook up quickly and are a light food for the summer heat.

This is one of the winning recipes from last week's New Orleans Wine and Food Experience (NOWFE), one of the top food and wine shows in America. The five-day event entertained a hungry and discriminating crowd in the Crescent City."

Dennys World of Quotes: Memorial Day Quotes

Dennys World of Quotes: Memorial Day Quotes: "Memorial Day

Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened. - Billy Graham

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. - Thucydides

Self-trust is the essence of heroism. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A hero is one who knows how to hang on one minute longer. - Novalis"

*** To read more just click on the link ***

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Social Poets: Cartoons, Jon Stewart Video: Funny Newt Gingrich 2012 Corner

The Social Poets: Cartoons, Jon Stewart Video: Funny Newt Gingrich 2012 Corner: "From Denny:  The ridiculous figure of 67-year-old Newt Gingrich - running for any political office or standing at the marriage altar - is tailor made for the late night comics and the cartoonists. Newt Gingrich lampoons and mocks himself every time he opens his mouth.

His latest gaffe has been trying to explain what he is doing with a $500,000 dollar credit account with the jeweler Tiffany's. Easy way to funnel bribe money for a presidential candidate? Does make a person wonder. But then he is married for the third time to a woman 23 years his junior - so that explains all the necessary baubles to keep her distracted from whom she is married to every minute of the day.

What is more striking is how the Republican presidential candidates are much too quiet about Newtie's jewelry account. Could it be they are also guilty of the same offense? Does make a person wonder about that too."

Bill Day
Related Posts with Thumbnails

This Week's Fav Cartoon

Moderately Confused


  • A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. - Joey Lauren Adams
  • A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it. - Anonymous
  • A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters
  • A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition. - Charles Caleb Colton
  • Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - E.F. Schumacker
  • Character is higher than intellect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
  • Every man is a potential genius - until he does something. - Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
  • Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lynd
  • Every person of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lun
  • Every true genius is bound to be naive. - J.C.F. von Schiller
  • Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
  • Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings
  • Genius is an African who dreams up snow. - Vladimir Nabokov
  • Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one. - E.B. White
  • Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. - George-Louis de Buffon
  • Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
  • Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. - Apple Computer
  • His genius he was quite content in one brief sentence to define; Of inspiration one percent, of perspiration, ninety nine. - Thomas A. Edison
  • I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. - Buckminster Fuller
  • I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring. - James McNeill Whistler
  • I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. - Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
  • I think the world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
  • I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. - John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners
  • I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
  • If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. - Stanley Garn
  • If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't. - Emerson M. Pugh
  • In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self Reliance," Essays, 1841
  • Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart. - Henri Frederic Amiel
  • Men of genius are meteors destined to burn themselves out in lighting up their age. - Napoleon Bonaparte, Discours de Lyon, 1771
  • Passion holds up the bottom of the universe and genius paints up its roof. - Chao Chang
  • Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. - George Scialabra
  • Primitive does not mean stupid. - Anonymous
  • Since when was genius found respectable? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. - Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711
  • Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better. - Carl Jung
  • Talent is that which is in a man's power; genius is that in whose power a man is. - James Russell Lowell, Literary Essays
  • The course of every intellectual, if he pursues his journey long and unflinchingly enough, ends in the obvious, from which the non-intellectuals have never stirred. - Aldous Huxley
  • The difference between intelligence and education is this: intelligence will make you a good living. - Charles F. Kettering
  • The invention of IQ does a great disservice to creativity in education. - Joel Hildebrand
  • The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. - Oscar Wilde
  • The reluctance to put away childish things may be a requirement of genius. - Rebecca Pepper Sinkler
  • There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. - Don Herold
  • This is the nature of genius, to be able to grasp the knowable even when no one else recognizes that it is present. - Deepak Chopra
  • Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. - Mark Twain
  • We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. - Louis Aragon
  • We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow. - President Woodrow Wilson
  • We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein
  • What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult. - Sigmund Freud
  • When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. - Jonathan Swift


  • Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero
  • A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911
  • I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895
  • Sometimes I give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. - Mary Wortley Montagu
  • I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine. - Josh Billings
  • No one wants advice - only corroboration. - John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
  • It is more easy to be wise for others than for ourselves. - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
  • We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves. - Anonymous
  • The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others. - Anonymous
  • When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Charles Varlet de La Grange, Pensées, 1872
  • Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. - François La Rochefoucauld
  • The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice. - Anonymous
  • When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. - Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings
  • Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life, 1977


  • There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff
  • Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. - Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688
  • The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957
  • If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe
  • There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark
  • Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton
  • Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher
  • Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
  • Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969
  • Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
  • Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto
  • Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
  • There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 1945
  • A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault
  • It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. - John W. Gardner and Francesca Gardner Reese
  • What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman
  • While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt
  • Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood
  • The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four - of secondary importance is to prepare for being five. - Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, 1985
  • In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley
  • A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Anonymous
  • Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Anonymous (maybe Art Linkletter?)
  • There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Like fruit, children are sweetest just before they turn bad. - Dena Groquet
  • Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. - Not Your Average Dictionary
  • Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones
  • In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. - Thomas Szasz
  • You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762
  • Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore
  • Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz
  • Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - John W. Whitehead, The Stealing of America, 1983
  • Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford
  • A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Anonymous
  • Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
  • We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley
  • A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Anonymous
  • You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones
  • We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

About Humor

  • The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Anonymous
  • I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank Howard Clark
  • I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee
  • Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
  • Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
  • Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. - Citor Borge
  • Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith
  • A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. - Hugh Sidey
  • A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessammyn West
  • A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William A. Ward
  • Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar
  • Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James
  • Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. - Mark Twain
  • Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier
  • Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks
  • Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb
  • Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Christopher Morley
  • Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx
  • A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Paul Fadiman
  • A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin
  • A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher
  • A joke is a very serious thing. - Winston Churchill

Birthday Quotes

  • Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson
  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Larry Lorenzoni
  • May you live to be a hundred years - With one extra year to repent.
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
  • Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. - Jean Paul Richter
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
  • I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.
  • You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.
  • I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. - George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
  • Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
  • Youth is a disease from which we all recover. - Dorothy Fulheim
  • First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey
  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope
  • Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. - Truman Capote
  • Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. - Dan Bennett
  • Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. - Charles Schulz
  • They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
  • When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. - Mark Twain
  • The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
  • Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
  • Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. - Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
  • We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
  • A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
  • There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
  • Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go-unless you enjoy them.
  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. - Chili Davis
  • To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
  • You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
  • If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
  • Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
  • Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
  • The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
  • Looking fifty is great - if you’re sixty.
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
  • After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
  • Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
  • Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
  • It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.
  • When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
  • When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
  • Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
  • Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
  • About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
  • Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.


  • Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges. - Thomas W. Higginson
  • I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
  • In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
  • A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
  • He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
  • If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  • Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
  • The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne-Marie Roland
  • Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
  • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce
  • Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde
  • Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use a words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid that area altogether. Trust me - Tim Allen
  • Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a nearsighted man. - Yoko Ono
  • Twitter was invented by men. A woman would have chosen a higher character limit.
  • I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby
  • If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday. - Noel Coward
  • True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match. – Groucho Marx
  • I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx
  • Ugly visual: When you're up to your nose in sh*t, keep your mouth shut. - Anonymous
  • If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks. - Cynthia Nelms
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. - Steven Wright
  • I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody Allen
  • Love lasteth as long as the money endureth. - William Caxton
  • The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. - Jerome K. Jerome
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, & I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than 1 night." - Anonymous
  • "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? – (understandably) Anonymous
  • I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
  • Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. - Mae West (wink wink)
  • In life; it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out! - Joey Adams

Make You Wanna Wince: Dumbisms

  • If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done. - Michael S. Traylor
  • I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. - Dan Quayle
  • The loss of life will be irreplaceable. - Dan Quayle
  • Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand. - Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst, a word smith he isn't
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – (understandably) Anonymous, probably from a stoned rocker after a concert
  • If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
  • We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur. - Dan Quayle, VP to Bush 41
  • If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle
  • We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. - Parish Magazine
  • Please provide the date of your death. - from an IRS letter
  • I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. – President George W. Bush (Bush 43)

Pet Quotes: Funny & Serious

  • When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet
  • I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton
  • Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
  • Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
  • Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers
  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
  • Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
  • A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha
  • I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine
  • A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. ~ Anonymous
  • The dog represents all that is best in man. ~ Etienne Charlet
  • Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. ~ Anonymous
  • And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. ~ Bedouin Legend
  • The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. ~ John Berry
  • A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. ~ Samuel Butler
  • If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. ~ James Thurber
  • The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. ~ Rudyard Kipling
  • The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
  • The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
  • There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. ~ Robert Lynd
  • You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! ~ Dave Barry
  • All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. ~ Samuel Butler
  • A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! ~ Shakespeare
  • A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. ~ Tesio
  • To err is human, to purr, feline. ~ Robert Byrne
  • To err is human, to forgive, canine. ~ Anonymous
  • Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~ Sue Murphy
  • No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. ~ Anonymous
  • A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history... ~ Anonymous
  • There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~ Ben Williams
  • I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. ~ Walt Whitman
  • If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~ James Herriot
  • I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. ~ Jean Cocteau
  • A house is not a home without a pet. ~ Anonymous
  • In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. ~ Warren Eckstein
  • Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~ Ann Landers
  • Dogs have owners; cats have staff. ~ Anonymous
  • A canter is the cure for all evil. ~ Benjamin Disraeli on horses
  • Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. ~ Joe Gores
  • Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. ~ Anatole France
  • A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. ~ Josh Billings
  • You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! ~ Theophile Gautier
  • The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. ~ Anonymous
  • We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. ~ Immanual Kant
  • An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
  • If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. ~ Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce
  • There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. ~ Robert Brault, robertbrault.com ~ Robert Brault
  • To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. ~ Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988
  • I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~ Winston Churchill
  • I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. ~ Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907
  • Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. ~ Robert Brault
  • I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. ~ Robert Brault
  • Most pets display so many humanlike traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. ~ Stephenie Geist
  • Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~ Colette
  • It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. ~ Henry David Thoreau
  • Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. ~ Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769
  • The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. ~ Hebrew Proverb
  • Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. ~ Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
  • Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. ~ Robert Brault
  • It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. ~ Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
  • You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~ Nora Ephron
  • Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. ~ George Eliot
  • Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! ~ Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist
  • No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz
  • Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous
  • Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~ Anonymous
  • There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. ~ Wesley Bates
  • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
  • A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. ~ Hazel Nicholson
  • There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
  • You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table.- Denny Lyon
  • Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
  • My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~ Edith Wharton
  • He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. ~ Robert Brault
  • The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras
  • No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley
  • If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Harry S. Truman
  • A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner
  • The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland
  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. Lenny Bruce
  • Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields

Political Humor

  • A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
  • He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
  • "If we were a dog food, they would take us off the shelf." - Rep. Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.), in a memo to colleagues about the problem with the Republican brand
  • "Now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come on!" - Barack Obama, about John McCain
  • "If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous." - New York Gov. David Patterson, on John McCain at his speech at the Democratic National Convention 2008
  • "I've been sleeping like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry.'' - John McCain, talking to Jay Leno about his election loss
  • "So?" —Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008
  • "So what?" –President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008
  • "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." –President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008 (Oh, this is funny on so many levels...)
  • "I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." - Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins (2007)
  • "You can always tell when the Republicans are getting restless, because the Vice President's motorcade pulls into the Capitol, and Darth Vader emerges." – Hillary Clinton about VP Cheney in 2007
  • "Thanks for the question, you little jerk." -- John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him. (2007)
  • "I've been asked if that nickname bothers me, and the answer is, no. After all, Darth Vader is one of the nicer things I've been called recently." - Dick Cheney (2007 – this guy thrives on negative attention)
  • "A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days." – George W. Bush, at the 2007 Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner

Holiday: Mother's Day

  • Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills: Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno, comedian, TV host
  • Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns, American vaudeville and TV comedian