When Graphic Artists Get Bored

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4 Videos: Funny Speakers at Kennedys Irish Wake

From Denny: The highlight of dreary funerals is when people get to tell the funny stories about you and Kennedy was no exception. Talk about quotable quotes that will be popping up all over the internet quotations sites soon! In fact he wanted people to tell their opinions and observations about him if only to prove just how human he really was in life. Kennedy's life was an exercise in trials, sorrows, screw-ups and redemption. He was an inspiration to many of us who think our screw-ups are beyond redemption and our sorrows too great to heal. Listen to several relatives and, most of all, even his Republican friends talk about their relationships with the beloved, and often annoying, Ted Kennedy. He was fun to the end.

Caroline Kennedy whom he fathered after the assassination of her father President John F. Kennedy:

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Close friend Vice President Joe Biden whom Ted mentored in the Senate when Biden was very young and "very green" when it came to real world politics - and suggested as Vice President for Obama:

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Former Senator John Culver, D-Iowa, a best friend from college who played football with Ted, brought the house down with his recounting of a harrowing sailing experience with Ted:

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Senator Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, a close friend of Ted's for over 30 years in the Senate and the two were like oil and water, never mixing well, yet a real love fest that lasted in spite of political differences:

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4 Videos: More Funny Speakers at Kennedys Wake

From Denny: Listen to Ted Kennedy's friends and colleagues recount their funny experiences. No matter how much any of them disagreed they still had fun together!

Senator John Kerry, the junior senator from Massachusetts, recalls Kennedy's booming personality that was like a force of nature. He also recounts how Kennedy never left his side during the 2004 presidential campaign.

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Senator John McCain, R-Arizona, recounts his funny and downright annoying experiences with Kennedy. He also declared just how much he loved Ted and how much he misses him already. McCain was so overcome with emotion that after his speech he abruptly left the stage with welling tears in his eyes. Truly that was a close relationship in spite of political wrangling.

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Governor Deval L. Patrick, Massachusets, recalls his time with Kennedy and his impressions of him:

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Senator Chris Dodd, D-Connecticut, recalls how Kennedy, who was more ill than Dodd, called Dodd to see how he was doing. That really touched Dodd's heart. They, too, were life long friends.

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Joseph P. Kennedy II, talks about his favorite uncle who helped father him and his siblings after his father, Robert, was also assassinated on the presidential trail in 1968. You really have to ask yourself "What is wrong with the Republicans who are willing to kill politicians in this great country called America? Who are these people who are so willing to kill a fellow American?":

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Funny Ted Kennedy Quote

Ted Kennedy, middle, with brothers Bobby and John photo by BL1961 @ flickr - thanks for releasing this into Creative Commons, much appreciated!

With his usual Irish self-deprecating humor he said to his son and nephew one day as they were serving in Congress with him, making it three Kennedys in national politics: "When I hear someone complain, 'Who does that damn Kennedy think he is?' Well, now I know there's only a one in three chance they are actually talking about me!"

Ah, nothing like the ironic truth spoken with a twinkle in your Irish eye, Ted. God Bless.

1 Funny Cat Cartoon, 4 Funny Quotes About Housework

From Denny: Added another category, this time on Housework. It sure brings out the comedians for comment!

* My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? ~Erma Bombeck

* A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. ~ James Dent

* One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. ~ G.M. Weilacher

And the best for last!

* The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. ~ Dave Barry

How Senator Ted Kennedy Affected Your Life

From Denny: Normally, I leave this blog just for the funny stuff. Well, Senator Kennedy loved a chuckle, a smile and most of all, he had a great loud belly laugh. Let's remember him for so much of what he did for society worldwide. America in particular benefited as he raised awareness about so many social issues and steered us all to a better tomorrow.

Did you know that Ted Kennedy passed over 300 bills during his tenure in the Senate? He also co-authored another 550!

“Ted Kennedy changed the circumstances of tens of millions of Americans,” VP Biden.

How did he affect our lives today? How does that translate into your everyday life that this generation may take for granted was always there?

Here are just a few examples that make life easier for so many to live well:

Wheelchair ramps: wheelchair access in public places; those are thanks to Ted Kennedy.

Minimum wage: you earn more thanks to Kennedy

Children’s Health Insurance: he went to bat for the most vulnerable members of our society – children

Kennedy was the driving force behind COBRA - for people in need of health insurance when just fired from a job.

He developed personal relationships with people like a 6 year old child suffering from diabetes who could have benefited from stem cell research. He didn’t just use her in front of the cameras for politics. She first wrote him a letter asking for his help on pushing for stem cell research; he read that letter on the Senate floor. For years he privately corresponded with Lauren Stanford, thanking her for her help and encouraging her in her fight with juvenile diabetes. The public never knew about that.

Christi Coombs, September 11th widow: Kennedy wrote her every year on the anniversary of her husband’s death. She recognized he truly did know what loss she was feeling as he had experienced so much loss in his life. The public never knew about that either.



Ted Kennedy at the Democratic Convention in 2008 - Photo (Mike Segar / Reuters)

Senator Kennedy, kicks off the Democratic Party's national convention Aug. 25, 2008, his was a performance that galvanized the audience, producing a roaring frenzy. The crowd cheered, then wiped away tears for several minutes, then cheered again. They knew Ted was thhe last living Kennedy brother.

He smiled and declared loudly, "My fellow Americans, it is so wonderful to be here." He was alluding to news reports hinting his doctors were hesitant to allow him to travel to the Denver convention.

The Senator continued, "Nothing, nothing is going to keep me away from this special gathering tonight. I have come here tonight to stand with you, to change America, to restore its future, to rise to our best ideals and to elect Barack Obama President of the United States."

Take a look at his long list of accomplishments that affect our lives to the postive!

The Civil Rights Act of 1964
The Voting Rights Act of 1965
The Americans with Disabilities Act
The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act
The Family and Medical Leave Act
The Fair Housing Act
No Child Left Behind Act
AMBER Alert Notification Systems Funding
The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act
The Meals on Wheels Act (elderly)
The Economic Opportunity Act
The Occupational Health and Safety Act
The National Community Health Center Program
The Elementary and Secondary Education Act
The Bilingual Education Act
The Older American Community Service Employment Act
The Low Income Heating Energy Assistance Program
Women, Infants and Children (WIC) Nutrition Program
Title IX of the Education Amendments (female athletes)
Individuals with Disabilities Education
Civil Rights Commission Act Amendments
Civil Rights for Institutionalized Persons Act
Comprehensive Crime Control Act
1985 Anti-Apartheid Act
Employment Opportunities for Disabled Americans Act
The Handicapped Children’s Protection Act
The Fair Housing Act Amendments
The National Military Child Care Act
The 1980 Refuge Act
The Job Training Partnership Act
The Civil Rights Act of 1991
Summer Jobs for Youth Program
The Mammography Quality Standards Act
The National and Community Service Trust Act (created AmeriCorps)
The School-to-Work Opportunities Act
Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program
Children’s Health Insurance Program
Work Incentives Improvement Act
The Minority Health and Disparities Research and Education Act
2002 Bioterrorism Preparedness Act
The Pediatric Graduate Medical Education Act
Enhanced Border Security and Visa Reform Act
The Project Bioshield Act
The Family Opportunity Act
The Ryan White Care Act (for AIDS patients)
The Higher Education Opportunity Act
The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act



In honor of Ted Kennedy, President Obama signed a $5.7 billion national service bill April 21, 2009.

The bipartisan Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act strives to open up new service opportunities for millions of Americans, tripling the size of the AmeriCorps service program over the next eight years.

"I'm asking you to stand up and play your part," said the president. Kennedy championed the legislation with Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah. Photo (SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)


Senator "Ted" Kennedy changed history in America. He fought against racism and sexism. He championed the poor for equal opportunities for jobs, homes and being able to go to college.

Too many middle class Republican families who foolishly denounce Ted Kennedy do so without full knowledge of how he has benefited their lives. They have been the direct beneficiaries of his humanity.

Among many fights for the middle class, it was Ted Kennedy who fought hard to provide college grant money to middle income families, not just the poor. This generation owes a lot of their successful lifestyle to his endeavors to make America a better country and a better society. Let not his humanity fall on deaf ears to the next generation...


Barack Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, Democrats, diabetes, Politics, September 11th, America

3 Funny Quotes About Government: Yourself or Your Nation

Found this silly photo somewhere... "Behind Clouds Satan Hides"


* For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

* When in charge ponder. When in trouble delegate. When in doubt mumble. - Anonymous

* When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So, what the hell, leap! - Cynthia Heimel

5 More Funny Quotes About Marriage, 1 Woman Sarcastic Cartoon

From Denny: It's amazing the many quotes you can find about marriage. Everyone has their take on the relationship. Everyone has an opinion. Somehow I think I have yet to "plumb the depths" of what's out there throughout history as opinions and quotes on the institution of marriage. I've even run across quotes as far back as 500 BC from Lao Tze, the Chinese philosopher! Clearly, men and women have had their say for thousands of years on the subject. :)

Quotes

* A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

* Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

* I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

* I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. - President Lyndon B. Johnson

* A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams


Thanks for visiting, everyone! Have a great day!


marriage, society and culture, relationships, men and women, funny quotes

1 Cartoon, 5 Funny Quotes About Marriage!

From Denny: This week's newest category is on Marriage. Comedians, writers and even ancient philosophers like Socrates have plenty to say about the relationship that is too funny!

Quotes

* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

* When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip of England

* The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman

* The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. - Honore de Balzac

* Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. - Elbert Hubbard



marriage, society and culture, relationships, men and women, funny quotes

What Do Football and Committees Have in Common? 5 Funny Quotes, 1 Funny Sign

From Denny: Don't you just love Cracked.com? They have the best funny photos! Check out this stop sign one as it sure relates to my new quotes category on governing by committee.

Quotes

* A camel looks like a horse that was planned by a committee. - Anonymous

* If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in. - Anonymous

* If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee. - Anonymous

* A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can do in an hour. - Elbert Hubbard

* Football is a mistake. It combines two of the worst things about American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

Funny Graphics Poster, New Category Added on Committees

From Denny: Developing this quotes list blog does sometimes make me wonder if it's like insanity...! :)

Fell in love with a new category of funny quotes, this time about committees. How many times have you joined a group and it took like forever to get anything meaningful done in a timely fashion? How many times have you been frustrated with the national news on health care wanting to scream back at the TV, "Get it together and pass the darn thing already, people!"

This category of funnies was just too rich to pass up adding over here at Dennys Funny Quotes, enjoy! After all, laughter is the best medicine...

Quote

A committee is an animal with four back legs. - John le Carré, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

10 Funny Pet Quotes

From Denny: Hurricane Bill dumped heavy thunderstorms and too much lightning on Louisiana all afternoon and got behind in my posting...

Some funny pet quotes to make your weekend, enjoy!

Quotes

* Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~ Sue Murphy

* There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~ Ben Williams

* In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. ~ Warren Eckstein

* I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine

* Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous

* A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. ~ Anonymous

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~ Ann Landers

* Dogs have owners; cats have staff. ~ Anonymous

* Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~ Anonymous

1 Cartoon and 4 More Funnies From the Advice Column!

From Denny: As we live our lives people are always asking for our advice, or are they? Many times people just want a "sounding board" to hear the sound of their own voice out loud with another live person listening. That little drama is so they don't appear to be talking to themselves like a crazy person. Since the new technology of BlueTooth phones people are now just left wondering if you are still crazy by walking around with an ear attachment that still makes you look like you are talking to yourself in public places... :)

When the (inevitable and dreaded) time comes to give advice the result is usually the expected: outright rejection because of the fear of change, waffling with doubt because it challenges them to change, and, even though they know they need to change to get a better outcome, they are still sitting on the fence in the decision department. Then there are the salesmen who try to sell you on their version of how to handle their dilemma which usually makes no sense, sometimes is laughable and you then you have to stifle the giggle. People: love them anyway!

Quotes

* Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero

* Sometimes I give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. - Mary Wortley Montagu

* When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Charles Varlet de La Grange, Pensées, 1872

* Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

1 Silly Cartoon and 3 Funny Quotes from the New Category Added on Advice

From Denny: Building this funny quotes blog is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys emptied out into your living room and swinging from the chandeliers! What a great category: advice. Of course, there had to be a quote from one of the funniest writers in the past century: Oscar Wilde. He is an all time favorite.

If you are not familiar with Wilde's play, The Ideal Husband, you can now rent the movie in DVD. It was produced in around 1999 with Cate Blanchett, Jeremy Northam, Rupert Everett and Minnie Driver. The movie is a gorgeous period piece and absolutely funny with great fast-paced witty dialogue, enjoy!

Quotes

* I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895

* We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves. - Anonymous

* Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. - François La Rochefoucauld

5 Funny Health Quotes and a Cartoon, Added New Category of Health

From Denny: Thunderstorms in my area today delayed a lot of my posting...

These observations about the concept of watching our health will keep you grinning! Even Longfellow who wrote over a century ago will have you smiling. Of course, Mark Twain is always the wittiest of all! Enjoy the Bath Scum cartoon. :)

Quotes

* I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Anonymous

* Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds. - George Jean Nathan

* Joy and Temperance and Repose, Slam the door on the doctor's nose. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

* They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

* Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

3 Amusing Family Quotes, New Category of Family Added

Celebrity Clowns Photo by hyperscholar @ flickr


* Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

* If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion. - Ashleigh Brilliant

* Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. - Anonymous

5 Funny Coffee Quotes & Coffee Cartoon

From Denny: A cartoon and coffee quotes to start your weekend, enjoy!

* Many people are like instant coffee: the minute they get in hot water they dissolve. - Anonymous from a Canadian newspaper, 1993

* Some coffee + Some thinking = Some great ideas.

* Without coffee breaks, there will be no accomplishments!

* On the eighth day God created coffee so that people like me could experience those seven other days.

* I make serious coffee - so strong it wakes up the neighbors!!!!!!!! (Sounds like they live in Louisiana - at my house!)

Cartoon by todd zapoli

5 Funny Kid Quotes, Added New Quotes Categories: Children, Family

This photo looks like it's from the 1920's or earlier when many people did not own a bathtub or have inside plumbing and just washed little kids in a barrel in the kitchen (I spend way too much time on ancestry.com...)

From Denny: Here are a few cute kid quotes to give you a grin for sure! And when you take a look at some of the time periods these quotes were written you will realize humanity has been dealing with the same parenting issues and parents growing personal development for centuries! :)

* The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957

* Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. - Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688

* There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

* Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

* Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

More Back to School Quotes

From Denny: 4 more quotes to keep you chuckling as you rush around getting the kids school supplies, readying them for the new school year...

* Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ~ Erma Bombeck

* Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. ~ Anonymous

* It doesn't make much difference what you study, as long as you don't like it. ~ Finley Peter Dunne

* You can get all A's and still flunk life. ~ Walker Percy


kids and teens, society and culture, education, back to school, funny quotes

Added New Category and 4 Funny Back to School Quotes!

From Denny: The new category is Back to School and Education. Here's a sampling. Enjoy the giggles!

* If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~ Edgar W. Howe

* Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. ~ Bill Dodds

* You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. ~ Anonymous

Photo by -Gep- @ flickr


kids and teens, society and culture, education, back to school, funny quotes

3 More Funny Coffee Quotes and Coffee Cartoon

Nancy Astor (to Winston Churchill): "If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee." Winston Churchill (in reply): "And if I were your husband, I would drink it."

Coffee: we can get it anywhere, and get as loaded as we like on it, until such teeth-chattering, eye-bulging, nonsense-gibbering time as we may be classified unable to operate heavy machinery. - Joan Frank, 1991

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon. - Jilly Cooper, 1970, How to Survive From 9 to 5

Cartoon Photo by todd zapoli

Added more funny and informative Coffee Quotes!

From Denny: Just when I think I can't find any more really good quotes about coffee, suddenly new ones turn up, enjoy!

Photo cartoon by todd zapoli

Joke: Blonde Repair Kit

Josh was helping Sally, a blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside.

Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.

She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."

Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"

Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."

3 Great Doggy Quotes

The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. ~ Anonymous

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! ~ Dave Barry

Photo of 3 dog anti-botox brigade by emdot @ flickr

5 Funny Birthday Quotes: Say What?!

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball, American comedian

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

May you live to be a hundred years - With one extra year to repent.

3 Funny Coffee Quotes

Image via Wikipedia

I sleep just to wake up for coffee!


Coffee: The gasoline of life.


No one man has done more to bring peace to mankind than the inventor of coffee.

One Way to Define Humor!

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

The Perfect Quote For Monday Morning!

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." - Anonymous - no need to ask why they wish to remain anonymous! :)

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Ouch Smile: Ryder the Dog, OK, I'll Smile Like I Really Mean It! :)

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3 Comic Strips: Ancient Egypt to Todays Politics Still Crazy

From Denny: Here are three comic strips to enjoy this weekend!

frank and ernest












*** THANKS for visiting, come back often to get a grin and a big shout out to current awesome subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe!


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