From Denny: Sometimes, dark humor is all that can get you through the day when it's such a serious subject like when you are out of a job and in the long process of finding another. It's a bonus when it's something you really enjoy doing. Barring that it's always good when you can pay the bills. Meanwhile, during your search be sure to find plenty of funny movies to watch and humor blogs like this one to pump up your attitude volume!
* We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. - Anonymous
* What is the good of being a genius if you cannot use it as an excuse for being unemployed? - Gerald Barzan
* Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen
* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Anonymous
* Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden.
- Orson Scott Card
* The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up
in the morning you're on the job. - Slappy White
* An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the
government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. - Anonymous
* Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life." - Anonymous
* Now joblessness isn't just for philosophy majors." - Kent Brockman
* By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost
* We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines
that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men
back to work. - President John F. Kennedy -
Will someone please send this quote to Congress?
* Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them.
- Mason Cooley - Hmmm… is this guy telling us that now is
a great time to lose weight???
* When I quit working, I lost all sense of identity in
about fifteen minutes. - Paige Rense
* It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job;
it's a depression when you lose your own. - President Harry S. Truman
* “I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job. ” - Jarod Kintz
* Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used to think that, before unemployment turned every day into a Saturday. - Jarod Kintz
* I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment. - Oscar Levant
* If you had to have a diploma or a GED to collect unemployment, you'd see a lot more kids staying in school. - Wayne Knight
* The hardest work in the world is being out of work. - Whitney Young, Jr.
* Beyond the queues, the vacancy screens listed jobs in a multitude of languages. Invariably, they were low-paid and short-term dead-ends. Nearby, people in headphones sat at a bank of machines: the blind and the illiterate force-fed with ‘opportunities’ by soothing machine voices. On the far wall, in large print, a poster declared: BEGGARS CANNOT BE CHOOSERS. - Mark Cantrell
* When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression. - Jesse Jackson, civil rights leader
* Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - President Dwight D. Eisenhower
* If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
* Be ashamed not of being single, or, unemployed. That comes standard. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
* Working in the theater has a lot in common with unemployment. - Arthur Gingold
* I cannot tell you how many quiet mornings I have spent sitting around hotel rooms and furnished apartments in the United States and Mexico, smoking cigarettes, plunking the guitar, and watching Perry Mason--telling myself, "Well, at least I don't have a day job. And there is nothing wrong with that. I am not guilty of anything. Perry would see that in a minute. - Dave Hickey, Air Guitar: Essays on Art & Democracy
* There are stories — legends, really — of the “steady job.” Old-timers gather graduates around the flickering light of a computer monitor and tell stories of how the company used to be, back when a job was for life, not just for the business cycle. … The graduates snicker. A steady job! They’ve never heard of such a thing. - Max Barry, Company
A$$toundingly scummy, insensitive and inaccurate:
* Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders. - Republican President Ronald Reagan - Is that obnoxious or what? Americans pay into the system their entire life so when they need to pull from the account it's their right, not some pre-paid vacation.
* Literally, if we took away the minimum wage - if conceivably it was gone - we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level [of pay]. - Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MI) This same woman also said of child hunger in America: "Hunger is a good motivator."
BEST Advice during a job search:
* Let your strength from the past provide proof of your abilities to . . . conquer the difficulties of the present. - John-Talmage Mathis, For the (Soon) Unemployed: You Against Them
*My first bit of advice is to not personalize a job loss. The cause for the dismissal was a business calculation. This is difficult for many to grasp; it’s difficult to accept that events just occur. Come to see this as an experience. Obviously not the most pleasant experience, but it is one that you’ll overcome. - John-Talmage Mathis, For the (Soon) Unemployed: You Against Them
* You have tremendous gifts to give; God sent them with you when you came to this earth. And while you might forget them, or doubt they exist, God does not forget and He will show them to you. As soon as your gifts are dedicated to His work, they will blossom. Chains that might have held you back for years will dissolve. And you will feel free. You will learn that your spirit is bigger than your circumstances, as soon as you put your spirit first. - Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness And Making Miracles
* Where there is lack, God’s abundance is on the way. Hold on. Have faith. It’s coming. - Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness And Making Miracles
* Our prayer is not simply, ‘Dear God, please send me a better job,’ but, ‘Dear God, enable me to see this situation differently, that this area of apparent lack might be healed inside my mind. - Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness And Making Miracles
* As long as there are ways we can serve, then we have a job to do. - Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness And Making Miracles
* As long as we remain vigilant at building our internal abundance - an abundance of integrity, an abundance of forgiveness, an abundance of service, an abundance of love - then external lack is bound to be temporary. - Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness And Making Miracles
* * * Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home. Visit Denny Lyon Gifts @ CafePress.com - see what's new! Thanks for your support. You rock!
Subscribe in a reader to Dennys Funny Quotes
* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my 24 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!